'D' is for...well, lots of things

Am I the only person who plays air drum blast beats when walking past people using pneumatic drills?

Today's Metal Harmony is brought to you by the letter 'D'. The first 'D' is for Dommin. I can't get enough of Dommin's debut album Love is Gone at the moment. The mixture of church bells, synthesizers, quality riffs and Kristofer Dommin's haunting vocals creates the album you'd get if HIM's Love Metal got knocked up by Type O Negative's Bloody Kisses. I don't want to get too excited but Dommin has the potential to fill the 6'8" hole Pete Steele left in metal. Hopefully he won't do an eye-ruining Playgirl shoot though.

At the other end of the metal spectrum, my next 'D' is for Dyscarnate. I saw these boys supporting Wormrot and was impressed but fuck me with a lawnmower, Enduring The Massacre is a truly monstrous death metal album. Tom Whitty and Henry Bates's dual vocals are ear-shredding, and this lump of savagery is currently sitting in my top ten of the year. There's going to have to be some sphincter-quivering brilliance crossing my path for it not to remain there.

My final 'D' is for disappointment. Only in the crowd, mind. Trigger The Bloodshed graced my lowly home town last week and the best we could do was a crowd of about 20. Scottish newbies Bleed From Within brought the support and despite the typically scenetastic hair and full sleeve adorning vocalist Scott Kennedy, these lads could make some noise. Playing to no more than 10 people, they went hard and went fast, and did a fucking good job. I'm a big fan of their "Death To All But REAL Metal" t-shirt, and now have a BFW poster on my wall of a Scandinavian metaller with a flying V and corpse paint beheading a character who bears more than a passing resemblance to Steel Panther's Satchel. They're not massive fans of the comedy 80s hair metal clowns, it seems.

Trigger were typically excellent and Jonny Burgan is developing into a formidable frontman. He breaks his neck windmilling, clambers over the amps, shouts at the crowd, and generally acts as a true spokesman for the Trigger cartel. This gig was only a warm up for their headline tour but they still played with the ferocity and sheer savage metalness that I've come to expect. I spoke to Jonny after the gig about the turn out. He shrugged his shoulders and was diplomatic about the whole thing, proving that these boys aren't full of themselves; they know they have to play the shitty venues and shitty crowds to get their name out there and they're not scared to do just that. Thank fuck, or they wouldn't come to my neck of the woods.

And with the glorious sun burning my hungover eyes, I'm off to regret mixing Guinness and vodka yet again.

Adieu scumbags,

M
\m/

My home town wins

Apologies for the lack of Metal Harmony last week but due to some massive hill hammering shit-filled smoke into the sky, me and Hot Chick got stuck in Italy.

I say 'stuck' but to be honest, six nights free accommodation including breakfast and dinner ain't exactly a struggle.

One of the thing I noticed about Italy though was the distinct lack of obvious metal/metallers. I wasn't expecting to see everyone walking around in Lacuna Coil t-shirts but still, with most towns and cities there'll be at least one small group of scumbags resplendent in metal colours. Instead, I counted two Misfits, one Exploited, one Immortal and one Dream Theater t-shirt in eight days. Extraordinary.

Sick Of It All were fucking devastating when I saw them a couple of weeks back, thanks for asking. Me, Si-KO and Danny Hurt Process filed in as the place was rammed with every type of punk and reprobate for a 100-mile radius. Despite the pit having a fair few gaps, stage diving was a necessity (although the bloke who Superman'd in from the stage, missed and landed on his neck may have wanted to reconsider). Songs like Built To Last, Step Down and the unbeatable Scratch The Surface blew me away. And best of all, they looked like they were having a fucking riot. Lou Koller's constant smile helped to create a truly epic atmosphere for these hardcore legends. The bruises and various amounts of blood spatter were well and truly worth it. Good work boys, good work.

It was great to see our little local venue finally delivering the crowd we knew it could. Hopefully this means we'll continue to get some big names down there. With Madball, Malefice and SOIA in the last few months, plus regular performances from the UK Subs and a late-May slot filled by Trigger The Bloodshed, it looks like happy days ahead.

Until next time you beautiful freaks

M

\m/

A time for reflection

What a year it's been, eh? The metal festivals were epic, the gigs were astonishing, and the nutters at MetalasFuck, BorninBlood and Rock Radio decided to publish the bollocks that I write. I joined Twitter, drank alcohol to the point of vomiting several times, got punched in the face twice and slept on a bench once. I had the worst year in history at work but aside from that, 2009 has been alright to be honest.

But what kind of blog would this be if I didn't do a "Top stuff of 2009" list? All bored of reading them yet? Unlucky.

So here's my top ten for this year, and a brief explanation why as I'm sure you can't be fucked to read pages and pages of justifications:

10. Malefice - Dawn of Reprisal
The second album keeps up the momentum of their debut. Malefice proved to the metal world that the UK does it fucking hard and fucking heavy

9. Suicidal Angels - Sanctify The Darkness
Greek thrashers take organised religion and slap the shit out of it. Hardly ground breaking but hugely compelling and full of brutal honesty

8. Milking the Goatmachine - Back From The Goats
The most ridiculous thing I heard all year, this album takes grind to a new level of stupidity. It's great fun and painfully harsh on the ears. Perfect for making sweet love to your lady down by the fire...

7. The Black Dahlia Murder - Deflorate
Highly anticipated and rightly so, Trevor Strnad and the boys pulled an absolute blinder with this. Heavier than a constipated bi-polar elephant and the only music to listen to if you're off out for a scrap

6. Amon Amarth - The Crusher Reissue
The music may not be as polished as with later albums but this reissue gives newcomers to the Amon Amarth brand a chance to hear where it all started. Plus, the live CD of the entire album is a-fucking-stounding

5. Outloud - We'll Rock You To Hell And Back
Without doubt, the most fun album of 2009. 80's cock rock is done often and it ain't always done right but Outloud absolutely nailed it. Just the right amount of cheese makes this a worthy addition to the ol' collection

4. Trigger The Bloodshed - The Great Depression
New drummer, new vocalist, new boot up the arse of the critics. Based on The Great Depression, there is no doubt that TTB are spearheading the new wave of UK death metal. Expect a lot more from these boys in 2010

3. Austrian Death Machine - Double Brutal
Heavy as hell metal based on Arnie's films which is piss your pants funny from start to finish; it has a song called I Need You Clothes, Your Boots and Your Motorcycle, for Christ's sake. Buy it.

2. Lamb Of God - Wrath
LOG have been producing consistently exceptional music for years but Wrath raised the bar. With Randy Blythe's tonsil-rupturing vocals and some of the tightest musicianship in the metal world, this album ripped my balls off and shoved them down my throat. Absolutely fucking excellent.

1. DevilDriver - Pray For Villains
This won't be a surprise for those of you who know me. It was a tough call between Pray For Villains and Wrath but I had to go with the 'Driver. The Last Kind Words, the predecessor to Pray For Villains, is one of my albums of the decade and as such, was a tough act to follow. But Dez Fafara et al combined personal struggles, insane drumming, pounding grooves and catchy as fuck choruses to produce a savagely good piece of work. They got a lot more fans on the back of this album and after a killer performance at Download 2009 and their own headline tour, DevilDriver is a deserving winner for me.

"But MADman, you crazy cock face, what the fuck happened to Rammstein and Megadeth? Are you some sort of cunt?" Yes, yes I am. However, I've not included these guys in my list as although both are excellent, this is my personal opinion. So please dry your eyes, but feel free to give me some shit if you feel it necessary.

I also got to talking to Sa-da-Ko this year, who remain my unsigned band of choice for 2009. Hopefully we'll get an album from these guys in 2010 and I've plenty of faith that it'll make a loud, unpleasant, face-melting noise within the UK metal scene.

So that's me. I hope you lot have enjoyed reading Metal Harmony this year - if you come back in 2010, I'd gratefully appreciate it. And tell your mates. And send me money. And gifts.

Have a fucking brutal Christmas and New Year. Eat, drink, and listen to heavy metal.

M
\m/

Another night in London

You may, or indeed may not, have noticed that of late, I've been updating Metal Harmony on a Friday. I think it's nice to give both of you readers something to look forward to so fear not; an end of week post will follow but I swear to Randy Blythe if I don't tell someone about Saturday's DevilDriver gig my testicles will implode.

A 17:00 (that's 5pm for the special needs kids) start is early as fuck for a metal show but not wanting to miss Malefice, me and Hot Chick arrived as the doors opened. Unfortunately, this coincided with tens of thousands of Arsenal fans leaving Highbury so the atmosphere was a touch tense. However, we got into the Relentless Garage (sounds like the worst club night in history) and straight to the bar for a welcome pint of Tuborg. Yes, it's shit lager but it tastes like Download so LET ME HAVE MY MEMORIES!

Hailing from the bleak wastelands of Berkshire, Malefice kicked off in front of a room that can't have been more than about 40% full, which was a shame as they were pretty fucking solid. Frontman Dale Butler's got a decent death/thrash style and they opened up the evening extremely well. They were by no means extraordinary and I was surprised to learn they've been around for six years but no matter; they still got some heads nodding.

After the roadies had finished clearing the stage for Trigger The Bloodshed, we realised the roadies were Trigger The Bloodshed. Dressed in matching sleeveless black numbers, this collective of young, fresh-faced laddies started by standing in a line with their backs to the crowd in a manner that suggested we were about to hear something more akin to the the Backstreet Boys than Cannibal Corpse. And then it kicked in and yes, they're pretty heavy but the fact that vocalist Jonny Burgan had no sound whatsoever made his wild facial contortions and demonic stares all look a bit laughable. But they shredded out a solid musical performance which got a rudimentary pit going. I bought Jonny a Jaeger after their set as he was sitting on their merch stand looking knackered, and he was a thoroughly nice chap.

And so cometh Suicide Silence. This mob are pretty popular at present and according to a mate of mine, would fucking own the show. The problem was, the sound still kept cocking up and despite the fact that Mitch Lucker sounds like somewhere between a cat giving birth and a gorilla raping a meat grinder when he sings, the atmosphere never quite reached the frenzy I was expecting. There were a few bods in their Suicide Silence t-shirts giving it plenty in the middle but I was still standing about 15 feet from the stage without my pint getting so much as nudged. I'll see them again before I pass judgement though, as No Time To Bleed was pretty fucking brutal.

By now I've had a few beers, said my cursory "hello" to Metal Hammer's Alexander Milas and have purchased my merch, so all is going well. Behemoth take to the stage after what has to be the lengthiest drum tech test I have ever seen - seriously, the dude just sat there and blasted on and off for about half an hour, whilst an atmospheric soundtrack of wind and general weather-type shit came over the PA. Once they'd taken to the stage though, it was worth the wait. They've been on the scene for about 20 years so the Polish mentalists know how to work a room of this size although vocalist Adam Darski's shout of "let me see your cunting horns!" did sound ridiculous. However, there's no denying that Darski's voice was the best so far and the synchronised windmills brought even more atmosphere to what was turning into a savagely evil set. Behemoth recently had their video to "Ov Fire and Void" banned by YouTube (it's still in my "Cool Shit" list though") but combine this with the sheer number of Behemoth shirts there on the night and a confirmed slot at Bloodstock's 10-year-anniversary festival next year and I can see a lot more from this mob in the coming months.

But enough of all this bollocks, onto the point of this post. One or two of you may know that I'm a bit of a DevilDriver fan. I had, however, promised Hot Chick that I'd refrain from the pit having fucked my back up royally during a Throwdown pit earlier in the week. So when Dez Fafara and the boys came out and opened with End of the Line, I dutifully handed Hot Chick my beer and went fucking ballistic. The pit went from a bit of a murmur to an absolute onslaught of fists, legs, teeth, knees, and I'm pretty sure I saw a couple of bollocks rolling across the floor. As a 14-stone skinhead, it was my duty to use the youngsters in the pit as a stepladder, enabling me to surf my way to the front for an awesome manly handshake with Dez - what a fucking moment. The pit didn't stop once as they ripped through numbers like Hold Back The Day, Pray for Villains and of course Clouds Over California. Another highlight from me was the fact that they played Nothing Wrong, the first song off of their eponymous debut album - considering they didn't hit the big time until the third album this was an awesome inclusion in the setlist.

The pace slowed for I've Been Sober but the intensity remained, and when Dez informed us that they were filming the video for Another Night In London that very night, and guaranteed it would never be played anywhere other than in London, the pit exploded like a Peter North facial. I managed to get my carcass up onto the crowd three times and when I came down on the second occasion, there were cameras rolling - I swear here and now, if I'm in that video, I'll cry like a gay watching Bambi.

Once the set had finished, I felt fulfilled. I felt that the whole of this year had been leading to this gig. Not only did a man with tattoos of 9mm handguns on his head compliment my tattoos, not only did I get a few beers in me, not only did I see five heavy-as-fuck bands for less than a score, not only did I crowd surf harder than I ever have before, and get kudos off of the lead singer of my favourite band for it, not only did I do a Jaeger with an upcoming death metal band...I could go on...

Needless to say that 2009 is dead now. Nothing can beat this. And 2010? Okay, Lamb of God, Hatebreed and Machine Head are all going to have a good crack at it but to top this gig is going to be a fucking chore.

I'll enjoy seeing bands try though.

I'm off to eat my dinner.

M
\m/

Jesus hates hippies

Look at the facts:

Glastonbury festival - hippies everywhere, thunder and lightning every year

Download festival - nothing but glorious sunshine

Ergo, Jesus is a metaller.

So a couple of things to look forward to over the coming weeks. The new DevilDriver album, "Pray For Villains" comes out on July 13th, which is colon-cleansingly exciting for a uberfan such as this MADman. I of course pre-ordered my copy, which comes complete with autographed booklet ("whilst supplies last", apparently - they better fucking had do), four bonus tracks, behind-the-scenes DVD and alternate cover artwork. Shipped from the grand ol' US of A, this came to about 25 notes so not too shabby at all. Now I just have to sit and wait until it arrives, at which point I'll stick it on full volume in the office and form a brutal circle pit with my no doubt unwilling colleagues.

Whilst we're on the subject of DevilDriver (which happens a lot), how fuckin' chuffed am I that they're touring in October?? Again, straight in to purchase tickets for myself and Hot Chick. It's got a Filth Fest vibe about it - 5pm Saturday start, five bands on the line up. With support from Behemoth, Suicide Silence, Trigger the Bloodshed and Malefice I can see this being a frankly ridiculous affair and imagine I'll lose a couple of items of clothing and/or teeth.

Right, I need to focus my energies on annihilating this hangover so must leave you now...