A frankly Dir, Duff announcement...

See what I did there? Duff McKagan's Loaded and Dir En Grey have confirmed Download, dumbass.

It's been a relatively quiet week on the music announcement front - Five Finger Death Punch and Dir En Grey are a pretty exciting addition to an already arse-stretchingly awesome Download 2009. 5FDP (as the cool kids call them) have a pretty solid metalcore sound but there's some groove in there and I'm interested to find out more. Dir En Grey are a bit of an oddity. Hailing from Japan, these guys have been retardtastically classed as anywhere between Rammstein, HIM, Slipknot, Pantera, just about every fuckin' band in the world. I personally think they're a mix of STEPS and Mortician. Jokes. Essentially, there's a dark atmosphere surrounding their tunes that stinks of Nine Inch Nails but being sung completely in Japanese, the ambiance is a touch more intense. Plus, the fact that lead singer Kyo is clearly a few wanks short of a teenage boy's weekend alone helps - his penchant for fish hooking his mouth until the blood runs down his face and scratching his chest and face bloody and raw during the set has caused many to take note. Style over substance? Wait and see, my pretty monkeys.

A welcome addition is Lawnmower Deth; spasticated death metal from Nottinghamshire at it's finest. Their cover of "Kids In America" is now legendary, and with band members that include Qualcast "Koffee Perkulator" Mutilator on vocals and Explodin' Dr Jaggers Flymo behind the skins, you can kinda tell it's going to be a shitbox giggle.

Coming soon; I'm going to see Flight 666 and you're probably not, plus Sisters Of Mercy with bro dude.

Stay tuned.

Eat my line up

As y'all know, I've been tending to update Metal Harmony post-gig only of late. However, I feel it's time to reflect upon, nay, discuss one of the greatest things to happen to the modern world since dead sheep got thrown into pitta and served at a reasonable price until well into the early hours of the morning. I am of course, referring to Download 2009.

It started well. The first announcement gave us Slipknot, Motley Crue, Devildriver, The Prodigy and Korn. Strong shit. And it's continued to get better and better. Trivium, the might Def Leppard, WhitesnakeZZTopBlackStoneCherryLacunaCoilAAAAAAAARRRRGGH! So much quality, so little time!

As you can probably tell, one is a wee bit excited. Even backwards hat-wearing camel rapist Fred Durst and his crew of large biceped keg drinkers from Limp Bizkit are going to be a laugh. I challenge any one of you to listen to "My Generation" or "My Way" from the "Chocolate Starfish" album and not do a slightly embarrassing 'bobbing head up and down, moving feet a bit like at a school disco, making up gang signs with your hands' dance. Put them in with Korn, Papa Roach, and pioneers of the genre Faith No More and you've got yourself a fuckin' fun wigga-tastic day.

The organisers have managed to cater for all g-g-generations this year. My teens saw the likes of Marilyn Manson and Slipknot rising through the ranks from annoying angry helmets to school massacre inspiring powerhouses. Then there's the Leppard, 'Snake, Top, Tesla and Crue. I have a feeling the backcombing and waistcoats will be out in force. Combine this with the prog metallings of Dream Theatre, Southern rasping of Black Stone Cherry and disease-infested groupie nailing of Buckcherry and the bag couldn't be more mixed.

However, there is one band that I was not expecting. Not hoping for. Dare I say it, I couldn't have even dreamed it.

The one...

The only...

JOURNEY!!

I nearly cried happy pant tears when I saw this addition. Having checked out Arnel Pineda on the Tube of Youness, I was pleasantly surprised. In my last Journey-focused waffle ("You just ask the lonely", Sunday, 10 August 2008) I expressed my concerns as to how anyone could touch Steve Perry's unique vocal style but to be fair, the young Filipino boy don't do too bad. Better than I do anyway. I sound like I've my danglers trapped in a bear trap when I try to sing along.

In summary, Download 2009. Fuck yeah.

Amen.

The pits

A week that kicked off with Metallica on the Monday ended with Rise Against on the Friday. Let's just take a wee minute to appreciate how fucking intense a week of music that is!

Finished?

Good.

I'd been out since 13:30 pounding beers due to a well-timed leaving do at work so by the time I met Bro Dude, I was on my way to being well oiled. We hit the Crobar, London's premier heavy metal dive, for a couple of cheeky Newcastle Browns and a couple of rollies, and offski.

I've never been to Camden Roundhouse but my first opinion was "My, how awfully civilised", as the legions of punk rock reprobates poured in. We met with Hot Chick beforehand, and got into the venue for about 20:00. Just in time for Flobots. Oh great; fashionably political rap.

Hell no. I went in completely ambivalent expecting little and was hugely impressed. The blend of hand-plucked violin, smooth rap, rhythmic drums and bass groove completely got me and you could tell that, although 90% of the crowd probably had no idea who these guys were, the opinions were high. Flobots got a fierce reception when they finished with recent single "Handlebars" and left the stage; they thoroughly deserved it.

But then the band we were they to see kicked us all in the fucking face. I can't even remember which song came first (perhaps due to the frankly hilarious amount of booze I had consumed by this point) but I left Bro Dude and Hot Chick, and hit the pit. And shit my ballsack, was it a pit. The majority of songs in the early part of the set came from my favourite "Sufferer And The Witness" album and despite my trying to leave the pit, songs like "Injection" and "Bricks" kept me going shitfuck pony buggery crazy. "Drones" caused a ridiculous frenzy (that might have been the first one, actually...) and as they kicked in to "Collapse" from their newest album "Appeal To Reason" I went over the top. A successful surf to the front was combined with the realisation that I had lost both of my shoes. And t-shirt.

There is something haunting about Tim McIlrath's vocals; the guy just commands that you listen to the lyrics as well as the harsh yet melodic tones. I think only Angela Gossow from Arch Enemy sounds so similar live as on record. Although Tim didn't interact a huge amount with the crowd, Rise Against did exactly what they came to do. The passion of the politics, the ferocity of the crowd and the stealing of the shoes all combined to make an epic experience. We left feeling like we'd been to a seminar on how to be a fucking hardcore punk rock band.

Going through Rise Against's back catalogue, it's difficult to find any stinkers. I mean, some of the acoustic protest songs are a bit simple, but so what? They're a punk band, retard. They play with a fire that singes your bollocks. The fans are insane. The pits are violent but compassionate and the band really give a fuck. I mean, really give a fuck.

Political bands that matter are hard to find today; Rise Against may be a decade old but with their constant relevance, there's another few years in them yet. I fuckin' hope.

The day that finally came

The day arrived, and me and Shithouse kicked off the beers at 13:30 in true heavy metal style. For at that point, we were only five hours away from the Dark Lords and by arse, the excitement was running like the blood of a slaughtered dragon (not sure why I've gone all Manowar here but it's my blog, so whatever...)

Bandy picked us up, and off we went, three fucking metallers with inflatable guitars in a company Vauxhall Vectra. For 'tis how we roll. We got to the O2 after a rousing chorus of the Kill 'Em All album en route and set off in search of a beer. Met up with Metal-R from my work, then the four of us hit the bar. We sold the car so we could afford the second round in the Guitar Hero bar, and by now me and Shithouse were a tad beered up.

We were all keen to catch Sword and Machine Fucking Head so took our seats relatively early doors. Sword, I must confess, I knew very little about but after an impressive, prog-inspired few songs, I can see them being a band I take an interest in.

Machine Head didn't have the same energy as the last few times I've seen them but in all fairness, this wasn't their fault. The mass appeal of Metallica means that the front standing area was a mix of old rockers, young emos, and every type of person in between. For this reason, the fucking bat shit donkey rape carnage of the circle pit you'd expect was little more than a couple of people fidgeting around, occasionally grazing the person next to them. Even my inspirational shout of "START A CIRCLE PIT YOU FUCKING PUSSIES!" didn't set them off. Strange.

Machine Head limped through a much more family-friendly set than usual but it wasn't for the want of trying. Rob Flynn's calls for a pit were greeted with a couple of moments where it looked like it may go but alas, the front was a bunch of gaylords.

Not too long after the Bay Area gods left the stage, house lights went down.

It was beginning.

The crowd were on their feet.

And fuck me didn't they start well.

Opening with a track off the new album was bold but inspired. "That Was Just Your Life" threw the crowd into a frenzy (still no pit though) which continued for the next few songs. The positioning of the stage made this an even better spectacle than was expected - friends have been to the O2 and seen bands with the stage at one end, never positioned dead centre of the arena. We all had a great view, the acoustics were awesome (Bandy had a few issues with it but he'd had 3 Pro Plus and 4 Red Bulls - he could have been raped in the ear by a Silverback and would barely have noticed) and the interaction was something else.

As "One" opened, my neck was at breaking point but we kept the momentum going. In all honesty, the double-pedal breakdown in the middle of the song was pretty fucking terrible by Lars, and there was a couple of hits that he clearly missed but the crazy little bastard had so much energy, I think I was the only sad twat who noticed.

My lighter ran out of petrol during "Nothing Else Matters" but this tune was probably my highlight of the show. Metallica's haunting epic being backed by 20,000 loyal fans, in an atmospherically lit venue the size of a football stadium. And the fact they ended and went straight for "Enter Sandman" only exemplified their greatness and absolutely mastery of the crowd.

Ending with "Seek and Destroy" meant we all left on a high. Sorry, let me rephrase that. We left on a monumental, 10-storey high with sea views and personal helipad. My one criticism, and this is not of the band, was the lacklustre front of the crowd. Iron Maiden at Twickenham was fight-for-your-life carnage; this could have been as good but the cross-over nature of Metallica's music meant that the range of those at the front was so great that it never really kicked off. Me and Shithouse tried to storm the crowd but the ever vigilant security guards stopped us pretty sharpish. Which is probably just as well; I don't think they were ready for about 30-stone of drunken windmilling.

To summarise, in essence, I would like to say, Metallica owned the O2. They were the Masters, we were the Puppets.

Boom boom.

DOWNLOAD UPDATE:
Faith No More to headline?? I fucking like your style boys! Journey as a rumoured addition? Get that in and I'll touch you all in a sexy place...

A fun night out for all the family

February 19th finally came round, so I got my shit together and made the journey over to Kentish Town to take in the might Children Of Bodom. Whilst I was cacking myself with excitement about seeing another fine Finnish export, I was also well up for a bit of their support - the mighty death metal scene icons Cannibal Corpse. This was a hella smart move by Bodom; nothing says you mean business more than taking one of the most hardcore bands ever to walk the Earth on tour with you.

There was a fair mix of colours there but in all honesty I counted more Corpse than Bodom. And when they took they stage, they took the room. The pit went into some kind of rabid frenzy as crowd pleaser "I Cum Blood" came over the PA. George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher kindly dedicated "Fucked With A Knife" to all the ladies in the room, which was greeted with cheers (really girls??), and the barrage continued for the next hour, a violent assault of kick drum, down-tuned everything and arsehole-spasming vocals. Finishing with "Hammer Smashed Face" was an inevitability and I surprised my self by knowing the tune quite well. An impromptu "Stripped, Raped and Strangled" again threw the crowd into some kind of fucking batshit nasty hellhole mess, and off they went.

I'm not really a fan of Cannibal Corpse's music but I did buy one of their shirts. Not to be cool, as I am already fucking much cool, but because I dig what they stand for. A 13-year-old kid can walk into any HMV and buy a Corpse CD, then listen to songs such as the above. But he can't buy "Striptease", the toilet comedy featuring Demi Moore and her implausibly round tits. He can then walk down the street into Virgin, or Zavvi, whateverdafuck, and buy a Carcass album with a JFK autopsy photo on the front, but can't buy a Dylan Moran DVD. Cannibal Corpse exemplify how censorship is the most hypocritical bucket of leper shit known to man. Okay, the albums were banned, but hey ain't now. And does a kid watching "Harlem Nights" starring Richard Pryor really seem worse than listening to songs about brutal murder, rape, necrophilia and torture? Oh, actually....

Meanwhile, back at the Forum, Bodom had taken to the stage. I insisted they'd kick off with "Living Dead Beat" and boy, was I wrong. Mind you, it came in second so not too bad. I am still yet to make a single correct prediction about openers... but anyways, the crowd was insane. I was a bit poorly having spent the night before puking and shitting for a few hours but when I saw that pit start to swirl, I had to get involved. "Bodom After Midnight" caused mass hysteria and the singalong during "In Your Face" took things to a new height. Not familiar with the song? Imagine 2,000 sweaty fuckers screaming:

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK MOTHER FUCKER
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK MOTHER FUCKER
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUUUUUUUUUCK!

Passion? You bet yo' ass, boi.

As I left the pit, I crashed very hard very quickly so we had to go. I don't know if they played "Are You Dead Yet?" but that was what I was after. Still, 'm sure I'll catch them at Download (pleasepleasepleaseplease)

In short, COB cut us all a new one. The most impressive aspect for me was the seemingly effortless skill of Janne Wirman on keyboards. The speed at which he plays not only compliments the ridiculous shreddery of Alexi Laiho, but at time it surpasses it. DragonForce's Vadim Pruzhanov comes close for showmanship but for raw, arthritis-inducing finger trickery, Janne has it for me. His girlfriend must be very.... no, I can't make this gag. Too shit, even by my standards.

DOWNLOAD UPDATE:
Killswitch, ZZ Top and Marilyn Manson?? Oh you know it baby. Bring that shit on!!

Is this love?

And so it continues. The rumour mill was churning a fair bit of stuff around, most of which was too good to be true. But lo, it did happen, and it was good. Def Leppard and Whitesnake for Download 2009. Un-feckshatting-believable!

It's not just the fact that these two titans of hair/power/whatevadafuck metal have recorded some of the greatest singalong rock tunes of all time (anyone not know the chorus to "Let's Get Rocked"?) but that they are playing on the same bill as modern legends such as the mighty 'Knot, other gargantuan often dead rock lords Motley Crue, and already what is proving to be a "who's who" of genre-defining bands.

Trivium are there too; last time I saw them I had my arm around Matt Heafy and was in a pit of about 5 ("I stand corrected", November 23rd 2008) so it'll be fucking tits to see them at the other end of the spectrum.

Rumours of Faith No More seem unfounded so far but Lamb Of God are looking good. To be honest, this festival is as if someone reached inside my head and took a photo of what posters for MADownload would look like. I'm running out of bands that I adore and HAVE to see:
Maiden? Done it mate.
Metallica? Less than a month.
Skynyrd? May 31st fella.
Leatherface? Yup.
HIM? Losing count geezer.
Lagwagon? One of the first ever.
Machine Fucking Head? Been fucking there.
Poison?.........Poison?..........

We're one band away from perfection..........

Hey diddle diddle....

...and so on and so forth, and I jumped over the fucking moon, as I think the nursery rhyme once said!

Download 2009 first announcement has pooh-poohed the Heaven & Hell, Slipknot and Limp Bizkit headline rumours - Slipknot was right, but try throwing the mighty Prodigy and the immortal Motley Crue into the mix too! Fuck yeah baby! Also announced are DevilDriver and DragonFroce - all about DevilDriver for me; I love those guys ("Thank you Coal Chamber", April 29th, 2008)

I'm now eagerly awaiting the rest of the announcements. I love this time of year - it's always fun watching the forums complain about the quality of bands but this year, they can eat a big fat MADdick because Download 2009 is going to RULE.

Fact.

Being slack

What can I say, it's been a drought as far as music goes over the last couple of months? I know, I know, I should have kept in touch. So sue me.

Anyway, happy new year and all that shit.

Got the tickets ot Download 2009 today but alas, there are still no confirmed bands. This being said, me and Hot Chick had such a fucking gnarly weekend last time, I can't miss it. Favourites to headline so far seem to be Nickelback and Slipknot, with a big fat TBC over Sunday's closer but who can tell? Aerosmith have been thrown out there too - a tad unlikely, methinks.

I'm back for 2009 now fuckers, so watch this space. My opinion on the Download line-up as it's unveiled surely can't be missed?

Poppin' Cherries

You really can't beat Sundays for a shit night to go giggin'. However, as it was Black Stone Cherry, me and Hot Chick knew that we'd have to make the long arduous journey from Tunbridge Wells to glorious Brixton in the pissing rain and freezing cold because to be honest, missing Edmonton, Kentucky's finest was not an option.

Got there, queued, beers, down the front for the first support act - long time since we've got anywhere early enough for to do this. So there we stood as Sevendust, Georgia's most dated metal band, took to the stage. Don't get me wrong; these guys had a fierce energy but to be honest, the massive muscles and backwards baseball caps were a bit Fred Durst-tastic. To give them their dues, Morgan Rose on the drums was a fucking nutter but even his gob-up-in-the-air-and-catch-it-in-your-own-mouth and Tommy Lee stickwork couldn't stop me feeling a little bit like I'd seen this yeeeeeears ago. Lajon Witherspoon's vocals were good but when they were joined by BSC's Chris Robertson, there was a gulf of difference between them - ironic seeing as Chris would have been about 4 when Sevendust formed (under one of their many different names).

Next up were Stone Gods. Having recently seen former Darkness man Justin Hawkins in his new fucking abomination of a band Hot Leg ("Eat My Beer", November 19th), I was apprehensive to see what his brother Dan and the rest of the Lowestoft boys would come up with. However, in the interest of not being a stereotypical judgemental metalhead, I thought I'd give these guys a chance. Richie Edwards on vocals (I'm pretty sure not the long-missing Manics guitarist) did vibe with the crowd pretty well and their music was good old fashioned rock and roll. Nothing about them changed my life but they were enjoyable, and should their album "Silver Spoons and Broken Bones" be available on a "3 for £20" at HMV, I may consider investing.

And then Black Stone Cherry took to the stage. My prediction of them opening with "Blind Man" was a poor shout as they kept it old school, the thundering floor tom and bass line of "Rain Wizard" merging straight into "Backwoods Gold" was a great opening to their debut album and an even better opening to their live shows. Chris Robertson has a phenomenal interaction with the crowd and the fact that this was the biggest headline show they have ever played made them even more humble than usual. I'd like to also nominate Guitarist Ben Wells for "Fucking Nutty Headbanger Of The Year, 2008" as his head looked like it was going to fall off his neck on a number of occasions. Rob Flynn would be impressed.

As they continued to mix up the tunes from their first and second album - "The Bitter End" was a particularly intense breakdown that instigated a surprisingly swirling pit - the real BSC moment came from when the guys from Sevendust came out and took over some of the guitar duty, whilst John Fred Young left the skins and came stage front with a harmonica, leaving Chris to take care of the drums. A truly exceptional display, serious fucking groove from all involved.

John Fred still ain't exactly the world's best drummer - he can play like a demon but struggles to keep time as he gets a wee bit excited! His trick of throwing the sticks away and carrying on with just his hands is funny as fuck though; I watched the dude from Whitesnake doing exactly the same thing round a mate's house the night before.

Unfortunately we had to leave early due to the spasticated nature of Sunday trains but the hour-and-a-bit we saw of Black Stone Cherry reaffirms my belief that they are going to be bigger than they ever thought possible. Hailing from a town of 1,500-odd in the dirty South, I can see these guys reaching venues ten times this size. The crowd was a mix of 40-year-old rockers, bikers, emo kids, metallers - all of whom belonged there. BSC are a truly universal band - I just hope their ever-growing popularity doesn't dilute the rawness of their music.

And then it happened...again

As you can see from my last post ("And then it happened", December 6th) Slipknot have recently exposed me to the most exquisite visual/aural spectacle that metal can offer. I really thought I'd struggle to find something comparable in terms of sheer experience. Whoever the next gig was, it was going to be a tough one...

I got tickets for Trivium's intimate gig at London's Borderline ("I Stand Corrected...", November 23rd) and have been looking forward to it a fair ol' bit. Unfortunately Hot Chick couldn't make it to the show with me, which is kinda like Page without Plant, or an XL cheeseburger without bacon. So, with teary resolve, I found a surrogate gig buddy in KillerLeah, a sound Kiwi mate of mine. She's not in to metal in any way, shape or form but is interested in music, likes the Foos, Chilis; that kinda rock ting. A couple of beers, quick Guinness in Crobar (baptism of fire for a girl not used to the metal vibe) and in we went.

Happily there was a merch stand - don't tend to get those in the intimate settings. The thing that surprised me the most was how small and pretty empty The Borderline was. It has an official capacity of 275 but you could easily shoehorn another couple of hundred in there. This is metal, after all; we're used to the taste of each other's sweat. Chugged a few Tuborgs and on the Florida thrashers came to a pretty loud reception, considering the size of the crowd.

First song was "Kirisute Gomen" off "Shogun" and if I'm 100% honest, at this point I thought it was just going to be an A-Z "Shogun" run through. Which would be fine but a bit, well, predictable. Yet again, keeping to form, I was fucking miles off.

Bearing in mind the last gig in this size of venue was the dire Staind affair at the Hard Rock ("Um, hello???", September 23rd), I was apprehensive that we'd get some diva behaviour from these boys but once they'd blown "Kirisute" out, the banter started. Matt Heafy, fucking massive hair and all, was more than up for a bit of chat. Refreshing, considering he's often portrayed as a bit sullen and "frontman" in the music press. However, the biggest surprise for me was that only a few minutes in, they introduced "Like Light To Flies" from "Ascendancy". This is the song that got them their major airtime and as far as I'm concerned, one of their greatest achievements. Heafy dutifully caned himself for the laughable hair he has in the video before fucking shredding the shit out of this tune. I chucked my (well, Hot Chick's) camera at KillerLeah and got my white ass right into the shit. Now, I say "into the shit" but a pit of about 5 people doesn't really count. However, being about 5 feet from the stage whilst they were hammering through this tune was something else.

As the night continued, a few more beers were consumed by crowd and band alike and the banter increased. Trivium were having an absolute blast and subsequently, so were we. Travis Smith, Paolo Gregoletto and Corey Beaulieu ripped the piss out of each other, had some "in" jokes, and at one point, indulged in a Dave Chappelle "Lil' Jon" exchange of "Whaaaat??? Yeeeeaaaah!" That might make no sense to anyone reading this but YouTube it - funny as fuck.

The set list was virtually non-existent and 90% of the gig seemed to come about after a quick exchange between the lads on stage. For example, the first verse and chorus of Maiden's "The Trooper" ended because Heafy couldn't remember any more lyrics and Metallica's "Cyanide" from "Death Magnetic" opened when he said "apparently we sound like them so we may as well play one", a sentiment greeted with roars of appreciation from an increasingly lubed crowd. Heafy did play one comedy mainstream song but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Something by The Darkness, perhaps?

Trivium managed to make two guys' nights at The Borderline. One lank haired, sweaty looking metaller was offered the opportunity to get on Travis's kit and play along with one song and to be fair, he did a good job (the over-the-top double-pedal solo when he sat down is EXACTLY what I would have done). A chubby dude with glasses then got hauled up to play rhythm guitar with Matt for an entire song and his elation was obvious. Lucky c*nts.

However, when the boys started coming in to the crowd, that's when my night was made. I held Matt Heafy's arm aloft as he was roaring into the mic, and now officially think he considers me his best mate...perhaps... KillerLeah had her arm around Corey Beaulieu as he shredded his way through the crowd and the whole place was more like a sweaty garage in Florida, where a load of mates were watching a few more of their mates play some tunes, not a few super fans watching a 3,000-room band.

At not one point over the whole evening did Trivium make me feel anything other than respect for them. They know they have their critics - a lot of critics - but they played up to this. Heafy finished one song and began chanting "Slayer! Slayer!", which is what was happening on their recent Unholy Alliance tour with the thrash gods. They had a drink with us, let us play their instruments, and made my mate KillerLeah think seriously about her choice of gigs for the coming months. They got in the crowd, they sweated with us, they let one of their guitar techs use the stage to propose to his girlfriend (very sweet moment). They were a group of four lads having a fucking top time on their last show of 2008 in the smallest venue since they played Barfly in 2005.

I never thought Trivium would top Slipknot. But they just might have done it.

And then it happened

The day after Filth Fest was one of the most exciting of my life. Chugging a brew on the train into town, I got that "I'm so excited I might need more then a few poos" gut. I was only hours away from finally seeing the mighty Slipknot.

Public transport conspired against me and Hot Chick and we got to the venue late, which meant we missed Children of Bodom. To describe this as annoying or frustrating would be like describing Robert Mugabe as "a bit tetchy". However, Hot Chick helped me not go mental and kill someone by leading me to the merch stand. I do love a tour T. I found out Bodom are playing a headline show at the same venue in February so it's not the end of the world.

Machine Head came on with the inevitable "MACHINE FUCKING HEAD" chants reverberating around the room. And they absolutely destroyed it. When you watch Machine Head you feel like you're at the apex of the evening. After them, it must be time for bed. Hammering through "Imperium" and new banger "Halo", the crowd was immersed in their Bay area thrash from start to finish. Rob Flynn managed to cane some of the lazier members of the crowd, asking them if they were ever going to headbang or whether they'd prefer a sandwich and a glass of milk, before chucking some Jaegermeister their way. I couldn't believe there was anyone standing still; as Flynn said, this wasn't a fucking Good Charlotte concert. He is an awe-inspiring front man and truly adds to the performance. This is the third time I've seen the Fucking Head and every time, Flynn has owned the venue. He never fails to introduce the whole band, is grateful for the support and hates people who don't headbang. Oh, and he loves a good pit. I have never seen a band that could follow these guys............(you can see where this is going)....

Until now.

Joey Jordisson's new mask/gloves have become the new face of Slipknot and as the curtain opened, there he was atop a fucking epic drum kit. The rest of metal's biggest line-up followed and quite simply, it went off.

Pounding through "Surfacing", "The Blister Exists" and quite awesomely, "Eeyore", I felt like I was being raped in the ear by a selection of large mammals. The lights, sounds, pyro, vocals all combined to make the most intense live experiences I have ever been witness to. Corey Taylor is the only front man I have ever seen who could follow Rob Flynn for interaction and entertainment. After virtually every song he gave us a bit of chat, told us how much they loved us fucking maggots - really makes you feel wanted. The crowd interaction on "Eyeless" and "Duality" was predictably perfect but it was during "Spit It Out" that you couldn't help feeling like you were part of something special. Allow me to explain; you all sit down as the song builds and then, guided by Mr. Taylor, the whole crowd jumps the fuck up as the tune crescendos. Simple but effective. 4,000 people sitting in lager and spit, brought together as one. The cock in front of me who didn't sit the fuck down got half of my beer over him - I do hate a killjoy.

Throughout the whole show, DJ Sid went a-wandering, doing pull-ups on Clown's barrels as they were continually lifted up and down on a pneumatic plinth. The cameras pointing at the crowd and playing on a screen in front of Mr. Crahan was inspired as it kept the maggots in the pit going insane. If you looked at any area of the stage, from the gargantuan form of Mick Thompson to the unexpected windmill headbanging of Jim Root, to Chris Fehn beating off his dick nose to Craig "133" Jones standing dead still apart from a vicious nail-ridden headbang, there was always something going on. The whole band were immersed in the gig and this really affected the crowd. It's not just Corey Taylor's passion that gives this lot momentum but the fact that each and every one of them add a different, equally important ingredient to the recipe. I'm going to stop gushing now before I end up felating them.

An encore of "(515)", "People = Shit" and "sic" kept the intensity until the very end. Joey's now infamous pneumatic drum stand went up tilted, rotated, and kept us going ballistic up to the final chords of the evening. "Thank you"'s were uttered, horns and drum sticks were thrown - in one instance, Joey personally singled out someone in the crowd for his burly security guard to give a stick to. If he'd have gone in himself, we would have almost definitely witnessed an Alice Cooper/chicken incident.

I cannot think of enough positives to describe this night. With the exception of the fucking queue for the cloak room, it was simply phenomenal. Slipknot performed material from all four main albums and didn't rely on the singles. A personal highlight for me was "Disasterpiece" - love that tune. For a band to combine such brutality with eloquent expression and respect for the people that got them where they are shows that they are some of the most level-headed rock stars out there. And for a band that used to puke on each other and throw shit across the stage, that's a big fucking surprise.

The bar for every future gig has been raised, beaten up, kissed, punched and shat on. Slipknot: I love you.

Aaaand relax

I may be bruised, scratched, full of cold and aching but this week was worth every second. Let me take you back to Monday.
Filth Fest was made up of this lot; Asrai, Septic Flesh, Moonspell, Gorgoroth and Cradle of Filth. I met a mate for a few looseners before making the journey to Kentish Town as I didn't really feel like standing in the freezing cold on my own for hours - Hot Chick was going to be down about two hours after kick off. I got there at 18:00, a little after the doors were scheduled to open at 17:00. But they didn't. An the queue was fuckin' massive.
Popped into the Bull & Gate for a quick Guinness, recalled seeing one of Bro Dude's bands playing there about 8 years ago, went back to the queue. The doors still weren't open. Back for another Guinness. About 90 minutes late, I was in.
By the time I got in I'd missed Asrai but nothing to worry about here. Septic Flesh were predictable dark but during their set I was mainly getting my merch, chatting to a mate who I found inside and chugging beers.

Hot Chick arrived as Moonspell took to the stage. Nicely beered by now, I led her down towards the front. The Portuguese doomers played a blinder and really got the pit swelling. Unfortunately, a massive cut in sound, light and power about two thirds into their set took the edge off an otherwise highly entertaining performance. I shall be investing in some of their work forthwith.

And then came Gorgoroth. This notorious clan of reprobates have a reputation for shocking the crowd and media with their crucified nudes and sheep's heads on spikes, so I was looking forward to the show. However, as the crosses were erected and the topless man and woman walked out, I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. When you watch someone hauling themselves onto a cross, putting a bag on their head, then standing a la Jesus, it doesn't have the same impact as if it all went on behind curtains and then is suddenly revealed to the crowd with a dramatic curtain drop or something. I know little of Gorgoroth's back catalogue but they got the crowd going insane. True to form, and mainly due to my large intake of Tuborg, I entered the pit, had a row, went over the top (really caught the bug for that at Alter Bridge) and hit the bar again. I felt their performance was lacklustre and if it wasn't for their notoriety and aggression of the songs, this would have been a bit, dare I say it, boring.

You know who ain't boring? Cradle of Filth. I forget what they opened with now but song two was "Guilded Cunt" (cue the most offensive singalong in history) and this led seamlessly in to "Dusk and Her Embrace", which is the first Cradle song I ever heard. I was going mental, as was the pit. I have never been involved in such a ridiculous shitfight in my life. Due to the inclement weather outside the floor was like an ice rink and, again, beer not helping, I stacked it backwards and landed on my elbows. The crippling pain didn't set in until I'd left the pit so I carried on regardless.

The tightness of COF's set shows a band that have been doing this for years. Unfortunately, due to the epic nature of their songs, the set was probably only 6 or 7 long but hey, it's the way of the black. Hot Chick doesn't feel black metal at all and spent more time being amused by Dani Filth's insanely high-pitched screams than anything else. I, however, appreciate the variety of his range as all too often, the black bands will rely on growling and leave it there. Cradle mix it up in a big way. There was great interaction with the crown, Dani was having a great time and the pit was an extension of the band (if the band was a sweaty mass of tattoos and hair. Oh, actually...). I'm surprised these guys don't play the bigger venues as they are by far popular enough but at the same time, it's good to be in a situation where you can get right up and personal with these cross-over black metal Gods.

Can it really be??

Every Wednesday I get my TicketWeb email alert, and 90% of the time the content is pretty dire (although I did find out about Rise Against's 2009 tour through there so it aint all bad). As much as I'd love to go and see Girls Aloud and Britney at The O2, sometimes you've got to pass these opportunities up.
I opened the email this week and couldn't believe what I saw. Three words which made my heart skip a beat - "Lynyrd", "Skynyrd" and "Brixton". I love Skynyrd. To me, they're the ultimate old skool, unkempt, dirty rock band. The drummer's name is Artemis, for Christ's sake - can you get more Southern rawk than that?? So anyway, the email tells me that the Skynyrd boys are playing in Brixton on Suday March 31st. Tickets went on sale this morning at 9am, I had my "downstairs; standing" confirmed by 9:01. These guys play the big shit in the USA and I always thought that, should they cross the pond, it'd be Wembley. a 3,000 capacity venue for one of the biggest rock and roll bands of all time? No-brainer mate.

Don't get me wrong, I know its not the original line-up (I'm not a complete spastic shitfuckwanktard) but it's as good as my white ass will ever see. Plus, it's a Van Zant singing and that to me is authentic. It's the first time I've ever got tickets to a gig and phoned my mum; that's how excited I am. Plus, I think she appreciates Skynyrd more than if I phoned her to let her know I had tickets to Cradle Of Filth.

Imagine seeing "Free Bird" live? Just imagine it! I can now categorically state (split infinitive; sue me) that I WILL cry if, no, when they play "Simple Man" as it one of my all time favourite all time songs of all time.

Today is a good day for music. Plus, in less that lots of hours, the two nights of carnage begins....

I stand corrected...

Despite my less than positive reaction to "Kirisute Gomen" as a taster of Trivium's then-forthcoming album, "Shogun" ("All Hope IS Still There", Sunday, 3 August 2008), I got an email through the other day about an intimate gig the Floridian metallers were playing about 5 minutes from my office on December 9th. Seeing as "Ascendancy" is one of my top metal albums of all time, I thought I'd dip my hand in my pocket and further add to the ticket pile. I also invested in "Shogun", a touch reluctantly but I hate being at gigs and not knowing the lion's share of the material.

My laptop has been out of action for a few days so I've had "Shogun", AC/DC's new joint "Black Ice" and "Satisfaction Is The Death Of Desire" by Hatebreed, which Si-KO leant to me, all sitting on my table waiting to be uploaded onto the ol' MP3 (strictly speaking an MP4 but let's not split hairs...). I finally got "Shogun" on and hit play.

Opens with "Kirisute Gomen" but this time, it sounded a hell of a lot better. Still not perfect but a shit load more guts than when I first downloaded it a couple of months back. "This ain't too bad", thinks I. As with "Dying In Your Arms" from "Ascendancy", "Shogun" has a stand-out single and soon-to-be-confirmed crowd pleaser "Into The Mouth Of Hell We March". However, there is a pure fucking raw aggression to tunes like "He Who Spawned The Furies", proving that Corey Beaulieu has more than enough ability to take on the guttural growling since Matt Heafy has relinquished responsibility of the growly stuff. There are shades of Devildriver drums and Travis Smith has clearly been given free rein on the double pedal; something that was sorely missed with "The Crusade". "Shogun" is the album that "The Crusade" should have been - more mature than "Ascendancy" but with the passion and ferocity intact. Instead, "The Crusade" undid a shit load of the hard work that Trivium had put in, and wrote them off to many as another MOR Metallica covers band. "Shogun" corrects this - December 9th, 300 people, this lot on stage. What a fucking night it'll be.

"Black Ice"? Pure, old fashioned AC/DC. 30-odd years after the seminal "Back In Black" album, they've come back with another absolute winner. It's just a continuation of tunes about rockin', rollin, humpin' and-a drinkin' and to be honest, I can understand why their UK gigs sold out in about 0.3 seconds. It's still not polished, Brian Johnson's vocals are still like a strangled chicken and the fact that Angus Young still insists on dressing like a schoolboy well into his 50's is bordering on laughable but you know what? They can get away with it. Why? Because they don't fucking care. And that's rock and roll.

Eat my beer

So the plan was, me and Bro Dude rock up to Brixton for about 16:00, meet with Axeman and Skinsman from Nobody's Hero and pound beers for a few hours, then wander down to the Academy for Alter Bridge. A simple plan, perfectly executed.

After 5 or 6 of Download's finest beer, Tuborg, we pounded a quick can in the queue and we're in. Obviously the first stop was the bar as it had been at least 7 minutes since out last beverage. A quick stop at the merch stand for the traditional tour t-shirt, a few pisses and off we went to the front.

We caught the end of Logan but didn't see enough for me to pass judgement. Hot Leg, bastard child of former Darkness frontman Justin Hawkins, was another matter. Don't get me wrong, I'm open to any new music and Skinsman was looking forward to some old Darkness tunes. However, what we were greeted with was a wannabe 80's glam metal performance by a group of frankly terrible try-hards. Alter Bridge are not a huge band in this country but their fans are loyal - everyone was buzzing for them but Hot Leg just killed it. They were, frankly, gash.

I'm not a heckler by nature. If I don't approve, I don't watch. Or I keep schtum. But this was a whole new level of cack. The crowd were baying for blood so me and the chaps thought it only right that we take the moral high ground. By annihilating the stage with half-empty pints. Bro Dude was surprised at the velocity of a washback-laden Guinness as it narrowly missed the "guitarist". The cheers for us beat the cheers for Hot Leg. Hot Leg? Hot Shit more like.

Enough of this. Alter Bridge came on with "Come To Life" as they did at Download and the crowd caught fire. Bro Dude hit the toilet and the bar, the rest of us muscled our way down to the front. I was expecting a bit of moshing but not a full on fucking shit fight. As they plowed through the "Blackbird" album, I couldn't hold back any longer so got my carcass up onto the heads and surfed my way to the front. One thing I'll say for the security, they helped me down and just pushed me out. No bollocking, no nothing. However, when "Ties That Bind" kicked in and I went over again, I did get a wee warning not to do it again or I'd be expelled. Buzzkills.

As "Blackbird" entered it's sixth minute, me and the lads were arms in air, sweating, I was shirtless and scratched to fuck, and some random bloke put his arm round my waist and told me he loved me. "Metallingus" kicked us into overdrive and by the end of the set, 2,000 people realised they'd been beating the shit out of their mates for an hour and had screamed their throats raw (as one song finished, I removed the inexplicable headlock I had on Skinsman...)

We met up with Bro Dude outside who was buzzing, plus Axeman's dad who'd been at the bar chugging lager with roadies for the set, and off we rode into the Brixton sunset. Well done lads; it was a fucking belter.

Alter Bridge do a headline tour once a year. Here's hoping that Myles Kennedy's rumoured presence on the forthcoming Led Zep tour doesn't stop this happening again in 2009.

Master Of Tickets

Terrible title. I think my ability to think of witty and humorous titles to these posts is dwindling. Plus the fact that I'm sitting at my desk surrounded by non-believers in the metal cause makes it a bit tricky to be inspired...oh, the drama.

So WTF? I hear you ask in text speak. Sitting at my desk the other day and T-Bone, my work colleague who has always wished for a good nickname, mentioned that the forthcoming Metallica tour tickets were going on sale at 9am. This was about 8:45am. Now don't get me wrong, I think Metallica are a phenomenal band - "S&M" appears regularly on the ol' MP3, I even like "St. Anger", dare I say it! Anyway, I digress. I thought I'd give Shithouse a bell (see "Who Needs Friends...", June 30th) as after our recent Maiden experience at Twickenham, I thought he might be going to see Hetfield et all.

He answered the phone but I could barely hear him over the stereo in the background. What was he playing? Metallica. If ever there were to be a sign, this was it. He was up for it in a big way. Plus, as he pointed out, Machine Fucking Head are supporting which is a major draw for MADman. So it was settled: I'd buy 4 tickets and we'd reunite the Maiden Twickenham cartel for a Metallica shindig.

£200-odd later, our seats at the O2 on March 2nd are confirmed. Seats. Fuckin' SEATS! Better than nothing. I'm sure we'll manage to muscle our way down to the pit somehow. I've never seen these guys before so the prospect of the crowd pleasers is pretty exciting. I just hope that Nothing Else Matters is the same sitting in a plastic seat with plenty of space as it would be getting crushed to death by 20,000 overweight, denim-wearing sweat boxes.

In the meantime, if you meet one of the c*nts who got hold of standing tickets and put it for sale at double face value straight away, a short, sharp kick to the genitals would be much appreciated by my good self...

It's Herman!

Chatting with a mate at work today - I say "chatting", I mean emailing. Do people ever really talk anymore? To be fair, there's no reason to be sociological about it; he does work on another floor in the building so "talking" in the traditional sense of the word can be tricky.
God I'm rambling. I think it's because I've got DragonForce's Inhuman Rampage on and if there's one things that goes on and on and rambles and rambles, it's the 'Force. Which brings me [surprisingly] right on to my next point. Which was actually my first point (fuckin' 'ell, this was meant to be a quick post before I make some dinner...)
Okay, so emailing a mate a work today, who shall be known as Si-KO, he asked me if there was an Asian fellow in that "Dragon" band I went to see. Of course, he's on about good ol' Herman Li. Once we'd established that there was, it turns out Si-KO and Herman Li both train at the same Brazilian Ju Jitsu establishment. He'd asked "the short Asian guy with the long hair" what he did, as is polite, and Herman had replied that he was in a band. Si-KO told me he thought this meant he was unemployed and claiming dole. But lo, 'tis not so.

Imagine knowing Herman Li! Am I the only one who thinks that's cool as shitting fuck??!

Turns out Herm (I can call him that now I reckon) is a nice humble bloke - glad he's not just like that in the magazine interviews. What a thoroughly gnarly acquaintance to have.

Si-KO will be receiving a copy of Inhuman Rampage tomorrow in order to educate himself before their next meeting. He's into his hardcore so I'm not surprised he's never come across DragonForce. Can't see them touring with Sick Of It All any time soon.

There's another dude in the office who's into his Black and Death, although I've only ever seen him in Maiden and Metallica merch. This being said, I heard he was in Emperor clobber last week.

You know what? I think there's probably a little scene at my place. I might start a CD exchange club....

Local mayhem

Being a firm supporter of all things up-and-coming in the music world (inasmuch as I like seeing unsigned bands play, that's about it), me and Hot Chick dutifully went down to our local converted toilet to watch our new mate and his band thrash one out last night. The place was rammed with at least 20 people but they served Newcastle Brown cold and less than £3 a bottle. Fuckin' A.

It was a battle of the bands-type affair, with the top two bands going through to the next stages. As there were only two bands playing, everyone was on for a good night out. First band on were As World's Collide (I think). Pretty good emo stuff, carbon copy of A Day To Remember but still worth a listen. The bass player's open string twangings left a bit to be desired for but they looked like they were having fun and more power to them.

Then came our mate's band, Rachel's Got A Flamethrower. Loud, aggressive, and painful (for the vocalist). Visually, think Annotations On An Autopsy meets Deftones. Aurally, think metalcore vocals with good old fashioned thrash 'n' roll. These guys would be good in a bigger room as they need the crowd - there was a shit load of energy there wasted on a large amount of empty space as there can't have been more than 40 people there. Still, RGAF won, and through to the next round. Very tight musically; I can see there being a pit next time.

Who'd have thought such a scene existed in the home counties, people?

My brothers, my sisters, my blood

A nice long lie-in after the DragonForce mayhem, a quick sarnie, and the trip to Brixton began. I must confess me and Hot Chick were both incredibly excited by the prospect of seeing "Mad" David Draiman and the boys rip it up for the third time.

The train was empty apart from a group of 5 emo's and a couple of amorous pierced metal heads. My Disturbed hoody got the traditional knowing nod from both parties so I knew we were all headed in the same direction. Arrived and Brixton, off to the boozer. Wandering around this place ain't the most pleasant experience but when you're in a metal army, the whole safety in numbers adage rings true! A few pints of Tuborg later (even Hot Chick, an alcopop-at-the-most kinda drinker polished off one of the "Download pints") and we were in.

Support from Shinedown was pretty good but nothing exceptional. If the CD was 2 for a tenner, it'd make up the numbers. But the atmosphere in the Academy was exceptional. Unlike DragonForce, the crowd here was older, hairier, had more tattoos and had been drinking for longer. It was on.

Disturbed have always split the metal community but in an odd way. Whereas usually you have your old skool NWOBHM blokes vs. metalcore, etc., Disturbed have divided the press and the fans. The press don't get them, don't dig them in any way. The metallers though, fruncking love them. As ol' Davey points out, every time they come back they play bigger rooms (although his "tell ten of your friends to tell ten of their friends and we'll bring this shit to the O2" was a combination of optimism and shameless self-promotion).

Despite this being the Indestructible tour, they dipped into The Sickness, Believe and Ten Thousand Fists for the material tonight. I broke my neck as the opening bars of Voices violated the air and it didn't stop. I'm pretty sure I've dislodged a couple of discs but I'm hoping the pit at December's gigs will save on any orthopedic necessities.

Land Of Confusion was a personal highlight tonight. Take a Phil Collins song, distort the guitar and growl over the lyrics and all of a sudden you've got a metal anthem. Perhaps Anthrax should look at In The Air Tonight, Municipal Waste doing Think Twice would also get my vote.

Mike Wengren's spotlit drum solo wasn't anything special but as it was after the first song in the encore, it could only lead on to one thing. As soon as the telltale opening bars to The Sickness kicked in, the room went ballistic. This song IS Disturbed. Okay, Stricken may have been used in the WWE but only major fans, teenage boys and overweight IT technicians know about this. The Sickness went Hollywood baby (the song on the end credits of Dawn Of The Dead for anyone who doesn't already know).

Draiman gave us all a motivational speech about how we'd feel stronger when we left and got the crowd going with the now-expected:

Mad Davey: "My brothers, my sisters, my blood; we are..."
4,000 oiled metallers: "DISTURBED!"
(x3)

Say what you want about their early nu-metal stuff but these guys have got eleven years of graft and development under their belt now. When I first saw them back in 2000 supporting Marilyn Manson (I was working security - not a fan of Mazza, although he is a good showman) I was hooked. Okay, David Draiman still comes out strapped to a trolley with a mask on a la Hannibal Lecter, but it's all part of their charm. And you cannot beat a 90+ minute set of singalong songs, beer in hand, fist in the air. I hope they don't get big enough for the O2 as these guys are a band of the people - if they grow much more, they might forget those of us who were with them from day one....

May the 'Force be with you

After two weeks off of the beer, I was apprehensive about a "sober" gig. So had some beers.

We turned up late and missed Turisas but to be honest, we've seen them before - fun as they are, I wasn't overly devastated. The one thing that did shock and to a degree, appall, was the fact that me and Hot Chick were amongst the oldest 10% of the clientele at Astoria last night. Big deal, says you, but with a combined age of 54, we're hardly over the feckin' hill. But as we stood there watching a group of three lads aged about nine chugging 3 fingers of beer and acting shitface rat-arsed, it suddenly hit home. I looked around, up to the balcony, around the pit - I WAS that old shaven-headed guy that I used to avoid. Mixed emotions, people, mixed emotions.

Anyone, enough of my self-realisation. The 'Force took to the stage and it began. As expected, Sam Totman and Herman Li fucking ruled. It's amazing that they play the solos virtually note for note as they sound on the albums, adding masturbatory hand signals at each other, licking the guitar strings and various other [un]necessary onstage wankery. Beautiful. However, what I wasn't prepared for was quite how piss-bollockingly amazing Dave Mackintosh is on the skins. Combine the biggest drum kit I've ever seen, cage and all, with the most frankly ridiculously fast double pedal in history and you've got a spectacle to behold. For over an hour, the bloke who can't be more than about 5-foot tall owned the stage as far as I was concerned. It must be something about being a short musician - Joey Jordisson, anyone?

Never have I seen a band have so much fun. Frederic Leclercq on the 4-strings did not stop smiling for the whole set, and even ivory tinkler Vadim was going spastic crazy on the keys. ZP Theart did a great job of getting the crowd going, with perhaps the exception of the seated section up top - I know the gig had sold out but really, seating at DragonForce??

Obviously they finished with Through The Fire and The Flames, self-indulgently introduced as "the song that made Guitar Hero III famous" and amidst a flurry of plectrums and sticks, I did notice Dave missing one cymbal but overall, they were spot on.

DragonForce really are the most ludicrous band I have ever seen. Every song follows the same formula, most of the lyrics are pretty much the same, the solos saw Sam and Herman stepping to the front of the stage and taking turns to shred and call each other a wanker for the whole set, and the thunderous double pedal continued non-stop. Nothing original about any song at all. But Judas Priest (stole that from Corey Taylor; I like it) they are tight. They have a gargantuan amount of fun and you can't watch them without smiling. They really do make sure you have a fucking good night out.

Disturbed tonight - hopefully we won't be the oldest again....

Tickets at the ready

Me and Hot Chick are currently sitting on pairs of tickets for the following:

DragonForce/Turisas
Disturbed
Alter Bridge
Black Stone Cherry
Cradle Of Filth
Slipknot/Machine Head/Children Of Bodom
Rise Against

Needless to say, things are looking up on the music front.

Having just purchased Cradle's Nymphetamine album, I was leafing through the sleeve notes at work and smiling at some of the, shall we say, provocative imagery. My boss, who's iPod is full of the likes of The Ting Tings (fuck off), Amy Winehouse (too much talent for a ming-riddled tramp) and various funky house nonsensery, decided to have a read of Dani and the boys' work himself. He got as far as the lyrics to Gilded Cunt before deciding perhaps the album wasn't for him. We've decided in a very democratic way that each Friday, we'll put someones MP3 on and listen to some music of their choice. I'm going for:

Napalm Death
Devildriver
Cradle
Bodom
Slayer
Mnemic

Oh what fun it is to have.

Kidneys are fucked at the mo so I'm off the booze. However, with DragonForce's Ultra Beatdown tour, supported by everyone's favourite Finnish warriors Turisas tomorrow, and Disturbed touring the ever-growing-on-me fourth studio album Indestructible on Saturday, I can see this being a challenge.

Could be worse though. I could have had to watch Staind sober.

Um, hello???

So I got an email from everyone's favourite label, Roadrunner, advising me of a special one-off gig Staind were playing for charity at the Hard Rock Cafe in London. As a super special Roadrunner subscriber, I got £3 off each ticket. £30 for me and Hot Chick, only 200 tickets, intimate gig, why the hell not?
I've got about four Staind albums but I've not given them much of a listen apart from Break The Cycle, the one that really brought them into the limelight. It's got the acoustic version of Outside, where Fred "Nuwwano wayawunna hate me" Durst adds his, um, vocal, plus It's Been A While.
So in we went, all on the guest list, got our wrist bands, queued for the bar. It was at this point I felt that we had accidentally gone to a frat party. We were surrounded my massive shaven headed Americans with arms the size of melons. Now don't get me wrong, my bald self tips the scales at 14-stone but I spent so much time flexing that I left the gig with cramp in 95% of my body.

So 2 beers, a double voddy lemonade and £15 later, there we are a mere 10-feet or so from the stage. We'd been there for a good 90 minutes and then they arrived. The band we'd all been waiting for. The band that are used to playing venues ten times the size of the Hard Rock. The music kicked in and my God, they were tight. Aaron Lewis's vocal were note perfect, the guitars were entwined in harmony, the bass levels and acoustics were ideal. But they fucking sucked.

When you go to see a band you want to feel like they want to be there. Staind didn't. Lewis must have said about 4 words to the crowd in between off-mic complaints to the poor sound man about his guitar levels. He had about as must energy as a arthritic donkey on a hot day, and the fact that the sound tech behind him was looking bored the whole night kinda summed up my feelings. Now don't get me wrong, the singalongs were amazing and it was great to see Outside live - the crowd were as one, it was truly moving. However, when the same thing happened during Stone Sour's Bother, Corey Taylor was moved, thanked the crowd, and had a wee chat with us. Aaron Lewis just looked grumpy and in need of a cheeseburger.

To summarise, the band were amazing. The performance was a stimulating as a morning-after-a-few-beers dump.

Oh well - DragonForce, Turisas and Disturbed in a couple of weeks. Bring it on...

Thank you; all 9 of you

I've been slack. Updating this blog has been, well, low on the ol' priority scale for me over the past few weeks. However, since my last monologue on the great "Folklore and Superstition" from Black Stone Cherry, I have made a number of purchases, all of which are pretty feckin' awesome.
August 25th came. I woke up, took a dump, had a cup of tea (not sure if that order is right) and headed the fuck on up to HMV to finally purchase the album I have been waiting for for months; Slipknot's "All Hope Is Gone" (obviously the special edition with the DVD and stuff). I've decided I'm not going to go into as much detail as I did with Black Stone Cherry, as this takes a long time - I'm the only one who reads this, is it worth it?!
The album is carnage. Imagine meeting a girl (or a boy, I suppose) and the very next moment being involved in some kind of Caligula-style orgy. There's no foreplay on this album, it's straight fucking in with "Gemetria". Corey slows it down in a Stone Sour way with "Dead Memories" and "Vendetta", giving the album more depth than the previous likes of "Iowa". AHIG takes key elements from their s/t first album, "Iowa" and "Volume 3" and combines them in what has to be The 'Knot's most accomplished album to date.
I also got DragonForce's "Ultra Beatdown" (again, special edition) on the same day. No need to deconstruct this - they're followed straight on from "Inhuman Rampage" with ferocious shredding, 8,000 bpm drumming and the vocals from a bastard child of Joey Tempest and Steve Perry. It's nothing complex, it's just good fun.
Essential purchase this month though has been Slipknot's "9.0 Live" album. A 2-disc annihilation of the ear drums. Thank you Slipknot, for playing "[sic]" followed by "Disasterpiece". Thank you for including the best drum solo on history. Thank you so very, very much.

And I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate myself on getting tickets for the best gig in the history of the world: Slipknot, supported by Machine Head and Children of Bodom. Just to confirm: Slipknot. Machine Fucking Head. Bodom.

SLIPKNOT.
MACHINE HEAD
CHILDREN OF BODOM.

Not that I'm excited.


Watch this space kids, I promise I'll update Metal Harmony more regularly....

Not just folklore

As I type this I'm taking a pleasurable meander through Black Stone Cherry's new album, "Folklore and Superstition" and frankly, they've done it again. Already I'm hooked.

It opens with "Blind Man", a song that got the crowd going at Download despite no-one knowing the words. In the same way that "Rain Wizard" punched you in the face on the first album, "Blind Man" gives you a good slap and demands that you listen. It's impossible not to tap along for the first four songs and it really does start to feel like these guys have given us another future classic.

The inclusion of piano ballad "Things My Father Said" may seem a little odd for those expecting the pure Southern rawk strummings of their s/t first album but it fits, and it has a genuine emotional tone. Still, if it's too soft, wait until "The Bitter End" appears and the balance is quickly restored. The good ol' reverb trick employed at the beginning of "Shooting Star" on the first album makes a welcome resurgence on "Long Sleeves" and "The Key" but the sound is altogether more mature.

John Fred's drumming has also improved ten-fold, although there's always the chance that this is down to more expensive production (everyone's a critic, eh?) - their forthcoming live dates will tell all. There are already some identifiable crowd-pleasers - "Peace If Free" sounds as though it's written almost specifically for a mid-gig break, where the distortion is turned off and the lighters are held aloft. I'm always a bit sceptical of songs that include huge crowd sing-a-longs on the album as it feels a bit contrived. Still, it's good to hear a good old fashioned protest song on a "modern" rock 'n' roll album. It's not just the BSC guys' hair that's keeping the 1960's alive.

The references to swamps, 'gators and general truck drivin' ol' boys gives this album a truly authentic Skynrd-esque vibe, especially with the excitable organ-into-guitar solo in "Devil's Queen". It's clear to see the relevance of the oft used Soundgarden parallels in "The Key" but the bluegrass banjo keeps it Southern all the way.

"Sunrise" has a bit of a bizarre reggae feel but again, it fits. Black Stone Cherry have dipped their toe into a number of different genres across "Folklore and Superstition", 90% of the time with great success. It's great to hear a band genuinely mature with album number two but not change so much as to leave us fans confused. These guys are still a good ol' Southern rawk band - listen to the yokel intro of "Ghost of Floyd Collins and try not to smile. They're versatile, young, passionate, and fucking good at what they do. Roll on December 14th.

You just ask the lonely

Thumbing through a recent issue of Classic Rock magazine I stumbled across an article on the new Journey album. Time for a confession: I love Journey. There's something about "Don't Stop Believin'" that makes me want to put my arms around my wife, sit her on the back of my hog and drive off into the sunset. I don't actually have a hog but if I did, I would do this. Often.
Anyway, I was scanning the review and accompanying photo an lo, no Steve Perry! I'm sure there's a huge percentage of you who already know this but I couldn't believe he's not there! Apparently the new chap sounds just as good - will have to consult with YouTube to verify this, to be honest.

I'm glad I didn't buy tickets to see them play in London - I would have been the one retard in the crowd screaming "YOU'RE NOT STEVE! IMPOSTER!".

Nearly saw Meatloaf play at the London Motor Show last week but Bro Dude reminded me that, no matter how frankly obliterated we were, there really was no need to go and see Meatloaf. In fact, there really never is any need to see Meatloaf. My Hot Chick is not going to be happy with this post as she's a 'Loaf fan. And I suppose with this ode to Journey, I can't really talk about terrible music tastes.

All Hope Is Still There...

Despite the lack of gigs in the next few weeks, there are a number of new album releases coming up that are pretty damn exciting. Number one on this list has to be Slipknot's All Hope Is Gone, as I've said before. However, I've got a feeling the backlash is going to really kick off with Iowa's finest.

Point A - Reading Festival, not Download
Point B - new single Psychosocial debuted on Radio 1
Point C - a huge amount of Kerrang! Coverage, which means a large portion of the metal contingent will see them as going more and more mainstream

"Psychosocial" aint, to be honest, the best track I've ever heard from them. This being said, it's pretty par for the course for them to release a radio-friendly unit shifter in the vein of "Wait and Bleed" and "Vermillion". Let's hope the album is as heavy and raw as they're promising.

Black Stone Cherry's follow up to their first s/t album is coming in a few days too - "Folklore and Superstition" is going to be fuckin' huge - can't wait for the tour later this year. They're one of those bands who never fail to deliver, both live and on CD (not that there's a huge amount to judge them on yet!)

DragonForce's new widdly-widdly outing is coming too, but I know bugger all about it yet. Let me make a prediction though - 10 songs, 7-8 minutes each, at least 5 minutes of guitar wankery. Good lads - don't change that formula!

I downloaded Trivium's new single "Kirisute Gomen" off of their forthcoming "Shogun" album. It was, to be honest, well, poop. Just plain boring. Their first album was pure hardcore, then "Ascendancy" proved to be an exceptional follow up. However, number three "The Crusade" was a little less impressive and they seem to have really lost their edge in this new tune. It's a sad but oft seen example of a band that peeks to early. I always stood up for them against the "fake metal" accusations but to be honest, I don't know how they are going to survive supporting Slayer on the forthcoming Unholy Alliance tour. Seeing as the only band who don't get caned by the Slayer crowd are Machine Head, I think the Triv boys might struggle...

All quiet on the metal front

Download came and went, Iron Maiden at Twickenham seems like a distant memory. Still, the tickets for DragonForce and Turisas, and Black Stone Cherry have arrived so there's something to look forward too. Not until the "...ber" months though, so I'm having to rely on Dr. MP4 to help me through the long lonely working days. However, my focal point now is August 25th, when Slipknot release studio album number 4 in the shape of All Hope Is Gone.

Totally stuck on Rise Against now though. The Sufferer and The Witness has to be the most consistent album I've listened to in the last year, no exception. The combination of screamo and melodic vocals to a hardcore/SoCal punk riff selection is awesome. If you've not checked Rise Against out yet, do so now. Or I will come round your house and shit on your couch.

Reading 2008 continues to have a terrible line up, which is great. Without the mighty 'Knot, it'd be nothing as far as I'm concerned. I mean, you've got your Bullets, Metallica and A7X but to be honest, seen two of them this year and Metallica are always on tour for the devoted fans anyway. I do love the little tents that, a decade ago, used to play host to the likes of Lagwagon, Dance Hall Crashers, Mad Caddies, MxPx, etc etc etc. This year they've got H2O and Pennywise - a strong performance. But over the three days, there's probably 10 bands to see which, by my reckoning, is about as worthwhile as me writing this blog and expecting people to read it.....

Still, I've learnt the main chords for Europe's Rock The Night. That officially makes me a fucking hero of our time.