Troll lols

It's my favourite time of year; Download headliners.

In the last year my poxy day job has kept me from immersing myself in new music as much as I would like, which has meant the creative blogging juices can get a bit dry. However, come Download headliner time, the plethora of material to choose from across the webosphere is more than I can cope with.

So what do I think, I hear you ask?

Avenged Sevenfold, the first announcement, was pretty obvious and a great response to both crowd demand and the schools who believed no 'new' bands were ready to step up the the plate (aside from Slipknot). This will be the biggest gig A7X have done and it's going to be a lot of work for them but as Synester Gates riffs his way through The Beast and the Harlot I'm sure the crowd will get moving.

Next came Linkin Park. I have always said I would only see Linkin Park if they played Hybrid Theory, an album which I almost wore out at university whilst trying to impress girls with my baggy combat trousers and classic turn of the century over-gelled hair. I firmly believe everything they've done since has been disastrous (except for the outing with Jay-Z) but as they have confirmed they'll be playing Hybrid Theory in full, this will be one hell of a show. Possibly.

And then there's Aerosmith. Good old Aerosmith. Their last headline performance at  Download 2009 (I think that's right) in the pissing rain fluctuated between average and bloody spectacular. Steven Tyler has one of the greatest voices in the rock world and the spirit of the crowd during songs like Love In An Elevator is something else. Are they exciting enough to close the festival? Absolutely. Is it the best booking? No. I backed Bon Jovi in a conversation with my mate The House (but at least mentioned Aerosmith so can retain a small level of 'told you so'-ness) as I reckon they would tear Donnington's hallowed ground apart.

My [always correct] opinions aside the absolute highlight of the festival season is the internet trolls. My eyes lit up when I saw A7X and Rob Zombie announced; with only these two out of the 100+ bands on the poster comments like "shit festival" and "rubbish emo band" made my day. Adding Linkin Park was even better and I could sense thousands of greasy haired teens in Seasons In The Abyss t-shirts pausing World of Warcraft to furiously protest by commenting on the Metal Hammer Facebook page.

It's going to be a fun few months.

M

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Rubbish bands

Over time, bands change. Their sound changes, their image changes. It might be slight and almost unnoticeable in some instances (AC/DC) but in others, it means a band goes from being something special to being a big pile of fetid shit. You can probably see what's coming next...
5. Throwdown

I should apologise to Throwdown. As a band they're the constant focus of my 'you fucked up' rage following the release of Deathless in 2009, and regular readers will be getting thoroughly bored of my beration but I promise this will be the last time.

The band that released Haymaker and the seminal hardcore/metal crossover anthem Holy Roller and a host of other mayhem-inducing numbers got beyond lazy with Deathless. Being constantly criticised by the elitists for being a Pantera-wannabe band, they decided that they should release an album that sounds like a shit Pantera effort. Despite a couple of decent songs - This Continuum is worth a listen - its just not Throwdown. The hardcore edge had gone and it felt like they were going for unit-shifting as opposed to having any kind for artistic credibility.

4. Black Stone Cherry

Black Stone Cherry are still a great rock band but there's no shying away from the fact that they peaked with their self titled debut in 2006. They have gone from being a truly exciting proposition to a middle of the road rock band who have aged blistering fast. Despite writing the odd song about shagging, the 20-somethings from Edmonton, Kentucky have reached plodding speed far too early in their career. Production values have increased tenfold, tour slots are constantly there but it seems the flame has died out. I really, really hope I'm proved wrong with their next release.

3. Feeder

No one has ever said they're a metal band so don't start. The first band I ever saw live, Feeder were an edgy indie rock outfit with distorted guitars and shouty vocals. My intro to the Welsh trio came in the shape of Woman in Town which is almost certainly still their best song, and in my early teen years, my old mucker Mearz and I played the Polythene album constantly. But then it all went wrong. The edge was well and truly smoothed and Feeder are now known for the fucking abysmal ditty Buck Rogers. If they'd have stopped at Just a Day I'd have been a happy man.

2. Manic Street Preachers

Memories of head banging with my mate Roshan to You Love Us in my bedroom aged about 10 are distant at best. I'm not suggesting James Dean Bradfield et al should still be topless and wearing a balaclava - no one wants to see a part naked fat Welshman - but where did it all go wrong? I point blank refuse to accept the existence of any Manic Street Preachers activity post-Holy Bible. Everything Must Go stayed true to the title, and everything went; interesting songs, punk attitude...I surely can't be on my own in thinking Design For Life is a hideously played bag o' shite? And Australia? Feeble. What happened to If White America Told The Truth For One Day It's World Would Fall Apart? Motorcycle Emptiness? Bastards.

1. Linkin Park

When it came out, Hybrid Theory was a monster album. I fucking love it, but more down the fact that it reminds me of being 18, being in my first year at university and being regularly pissed. A small tangent; a girl at my university and I listened to Hybrid Theory together a lot. In fact, she was so much into the nu metal scene that she managed to get back stage at Korn and ended up getting genital warts off of one of their roadies. True story.

Anyway, Hybrid Theory was, at the time, a new sound. It sounded angry, it joined Limp Bizkit in telling up and coming metallers that you could wear baseball caps and massive trousers, and it was front-to-back singalong classics. However, the warning bells started to ring when almost every song on the album was released as a single, then they released the whole of Hybrid Theory again as a remix album, and then it collapsed. There is no denying that nowadays, the band are total fucking shit.

There are other offenders but these are the big hitters. If you have any to add, I'd be intrigued.

Time to go and celebrate the beautiful 28-degree sunshine in London by sitting in an office staring at a computer.

M
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Trying hard, getting far, and it the end it not really mattering

Tyranny has, bizarrely, featured quite highly in my listening this week. xTYRANTx on Eulogy Records have a hardcore/metal crossover sound that's pretty raw and incredibly meaty. Then there's Greek symphonic metallers Nightfall's latest offering Astron Black and the Thirty Tyrants. It's a bit of a chugger and has some epic atmospheric moments that combine heavy heavy guitar and vocals with soft orchestral breaks. Decent stuff.

Something else that's been resonating in the ol' ear this week is Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory. When I was in my teens, nu metal was a big deal. Sitting round my mate's house smoking weed and listening to Korn's debut album whilst watching Teletubbies was a staple of the week. Slipknot's self-titled belter, Disturbed's The Sickness, Papa Roach's Infest; I loved them all and still do. And of course you can't ignore Limp Bizkit's Chocolate Starfish... which, whilst indisputably hilarious, is a monster album from the era.

Hybrid Theory was fantastic when it came out. Listening to One Step Closer makes me feel like I've just got my driving licence and I'm gunning around Norfolk in a 1.3 Toyota Starlet (colour: Tropicana) all over again. Every track on the album is quality. But rather than becoming one of my favourite bands (a la Disturbed), Linkin Park decided to release virtually every song on Hybrid Theory as a single, then re-release it as a horrific electro-remix, and it all went downhill. It was all signs that they were lazy; they knew they had a winner and milked the living cock out of it.

I respect what Linkin Park has achieved. They've toured arenas, released four major albums (aside from the bastard remix album) and have got top-billing at some of the world's biggest rock music festivals. But for me they'll always be the band who peaked right at the beginning, got lazy, and ultimately got shit.

And on that note, I'm off to buy some massive jeans, a backwards baseball cap and have a beer with Shifty Shellshock.

M

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