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Thursday, 28 May 2009

Lynyrd Skynyrd, R.I.P

It may seem a tad dramatic but you don't know how gutted this MADman is! I'll explain. I love Lynyrd Skynyrd. I think they're awesome. There is not a single guitar moment in the world that can compare to that 1997 "Free Bird" solo, which I am informed is one of the most requested clips of all time, as stated by the BBC (I've put a link to the vid at the end as I want you to read my angst first).

If that's not enough to prove their ferocious brilliantness, their drummer was called Artemis Pyle.

Artemis Pyle.

Is there a more "Suthun rawk" name than that? No, there isn't; stop trying to think of one and read on.

Way back in the days of yore, I found out that Skynyrd were playing in the not-worthy Brixton Academy ("Can it really be??", November 28th 2008). I purchased tickets quicker than a fat teenager blogs about continuity errors in Stargate.

But alas, the recession doth fuck me in the face with a passionless grin. You see, the gig is a Sunday, and me and Hot Chick dwell many miles from Brixton. So, we'd have to leave stupidly early and miss the inevitable "Free Bird" finale. Not worries, we'll stay over in London. Will we fuck. I barely have the sheckles for a loaf of bread, let alone some seedy cack shack in SE1.

A gig for me also means a tour T-shirt and minimum £30 of beer. Again, not possible. My current economic situation is worse than Insane Clown Posse's entire back catalogue.

So the tickets were sold on the electronicBay, at face value, to a massively excited Skynyrdian. I don't like people that buy to sell for profit. I think they're about as low as elephantitis-riddled balls. The tickets left the flat yesterday and by now, will be in the hands of some lucky fucker in Suffolk.

By the grave of Ronnie Van Zant, if you bought them off me, treat them good. Sing along until your throat bleeds during "Simple Man", drink a bottle of medium strength lager for "The Ballad Of Curtis Loew" (that's the right spelling, actually) and play air guitar to "Free Bird" like a massive fucking twat.

And like 90% of the original good ol' boys, I'll be there in spirit.

And now, the performance....

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

A good morning shuffle

Theoretically, not a "shuffle" as the Creative Zen Vision M is not an iPod. "Random song choice" ain't as catchy though, is it?

Anyway, wandering through the detritus and whoredom of Soho this morning on my way to work and the aforementioned music playing tool presented me with the following in quick succession:

Atreyu - "Lip Gloss and Black"
Sofahead - "Break Up"
Early Grave - "Dead To Me"
Slipknot - "Vermillion (live)"

I'm sure you'll agree, a frankly gargantuan offering for a rainy Tuesday AM.

What do you mean, who are Sofahead? Fuck me. In all honesty, I'd never heard of them either but me and Bro Dude saw them punking it up alongside Watt Tyler and the mighty Leatherface a couple of years back. They're a female-fronted shouty punk mob from Middlesborough who broke up about nine years ago but I tell you what shitheads, they are fucking cool. "Break Up" is a cover of The Doors' "Break On Through" and I strongly recommend you legally download this song if possible. I'd rank it alongside Hi-Standard's "California Dreamin'" in my "Top 10 Awesome Punk Covers Which Make You Want To Push A Granny Over". If you can't find it, holla at this MADman and I'll hook you up.

Early Grave's offering is a grubby hybrid of Dimmu Borgir and Caliban and grinds pretty hard. As these folks are new to me, I shall be investigating further as "Dead To Me" was a pleasant change from either standard death or generic metalcore.

Got to run now as I need a shit.

Missing you already...

Sunday, 17 May 2009

Many shades of Green

This MADman has a hangover and Green Day are on the television, hence the "many shades of Green". See what I've done there? I would hope so, or you are truly stupid.

First and foremost, welcome to anyone who is here from Twitter, the campest-named networking facility in the world. Please feel free to contribute to Metal Harmony in any way you see fit, or unfit, or whatever.

Secondly, do Green Day still matter? When I was listening to "Dookie" oh-so-many years ago, songs about wanking in your flat when you're bored and being a retard made sense to my teenage punk self. I had no real angst to deal with but Green Day were still a release. Then they went shit, which I choose to gloss over as it was a sad time. But then "American Idiot" came out and propelled the short-arse frontmanned punksters into the mainstream in a frankly ridiculous way. I seem to remember Kerrang voting their Milton Keynes show "the best gig of all time". If you'd have told me that would happen when I was trying to play along with "Welcome To Paradise" on the drums over a decade ago, I would have said "no chance, you silly c*nt", and pissed in your ear.

Tre Cool was the man who really made me want to hit the skins and at that time, I was convinced that he was the best drummer in the world. And to be fair, he does still have an awesome talent. His timing is impeccable, his energy is awesome and his hair is regularly, if not constantly, stupid.

But I find myself asking, do they still matter? No longer an angsty trio of gobby shits, Green Day are now a threesome of political commentators. Surely this means they matter more? I don't know. I mean, how many people have gone down this route? Protest songs against war and organised religion have been around since music began and have ranged from the abolitionists in the USA to warbly-voice leathery rocker Neil Young to SoCal punk bands like Lagwagon, and so on and so forth. Don't get me wrong; Green Day still create fucking tuneage but I can't help thinking their aspirations to end the war in Iraq and topple TV evangelism is a bit contrived.

But what do I know?

More than you, probably.

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Emotional beards

Wandering through the music channels last night, I got the the only real option that matters in the form of Scuzz. As it was pretty late into the hours of darkness, they were running through some new music. Unfortunately, one of the tunes was Nickelback's new joints but thankfully, I was sticking chopsticks into my eyes at that point so wasn't paying attention.

A tune that did intrigue me was "I Drink Alone" by The Cumshots. Yes, The Cumshots. Fucking terrible name but not easy to forget. Plus, I'd imagine they get found on the 'Net by people looking for very different things on a regular basis.

These "death 'n' roll" bearded monsters are fronted by lead singer, Kristopher Schau, a man with facial hair so impressive that you dare not look it straight in the eye.

But I digress. Awesome beards aside, this Norwegian quintet were producing some of the most aggressive music I have ever been party to for many moons. Schau's voice is a Jamey Jasta meets Johan Hegg hybrid, and there's genuine anger in there. This, combined with a stripped down drum kit which still has double kick, and deep, guttural chords combine to make an intense musical episode. The video is essentially the chaps in a synthetically lit garage, with Schau occasionally punching/headbutting things, whilst a selection of social ne'er-do-wells, well, drink alone. And cry.

It's bizarre but emotional shit; check it out:

(sorry it doesn't link straight through, I haven't worked out how to do that on Metal Harmony yet...)

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Disgusting balls

Being a connoisseur of all things music (ha!) I tend to listen to my Creative on random select at all times."What, no iPod?" I hear you gently mutter in a barely interested way. Alas no. The Creative is not only a far superior tool for file conversion but it also has a built in radio, allowing for Ken Bruce's Popmaster on the move, plus a 'record' function, should you wish to record any tunage. Can you get that on an iPod? Can you bollocks. Which yet again, is an example of why I'm better than you.

Meanwhile, back at the den of iniquity, I was wandering along through Trafalgar Square and on came "Fire Engine" by Revolting Cocks. In case you're not aware of these chaps, imagine a psychobilly playing a synth whilst beating up a goth and you're there. This particular song makes you want to tree dance whilst performing an electric boogaloo, if you're that way inclined. I shall be investing in more of their work, stay tuned for further cock-based chat.

I also dipped into the Metal Blade 25th Anniversary sampler that Metal Hammer kindly provided some months back and found myself going straight for Cannibal Corpse's "Death Walking Terror". Since my last Corpse experience ("A fun night out for all the family", Tuesday Feb 24th), and I mean that in a purely non-necrophiliac sense, I've been increasingly intrigued. To be fair to this song though, it fucking sucks. Yes, George can growl like a bear with piles but in essence, the song is rapingly boring.

I also found myself confused by Job For A Cowboy's "Embedded". These guys have been criticised for being fake, not paying their dues, etc. but in my opinion, they're heavier than your mum coming to your first born's funeral and telling you that you were a mistaken adoption. But what do I know?

Oh well, off to work. Bye for now asscheeks.