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Friday, 27 August 2010


Until today I've never noticed the similarities between commuters and emo kids - generic dark clothes, miserable faces, a general aura of grumpiness. Less fringe action mind. I don't object to being a cog in the ever-churning corporate machine but days like today, standing in a cramped train, cock-to-leg with numerous other besuited fellows, in a soaking wet coat and with the need for a cigarette meaning I'm about 17 minutes from mass homicide, I do sometimes wonder if it would be so bad if I chucked it all in went to live in a wood cabin in Alaska...

I'm being a bit emo myself now but fuck you, man. You like, don't understand my pain. Only Gerrard Way does... *hums The Black Parade*

Still, on the plus side The Big 4's performance from Sonisphere Bulgaria is coming out on DVD and BluRay in September. If The Red Wizard's review is anything to go by I shall most definitely be procurring this, buying a crate of beer and tuning my air guitar. Plus Slipknot's new DVD (sic)ness is released on September 28th and includes their crushing performance at Download 2009. I still get heartilly engorged thinking about Spit It Out during that performance.

Sad news about Adam 'Nergal' Darski this week though. You've probably heard by now that the Behemoth frontman has been diagnosed with leukemia and is in urgent need of a bone marrow transplant. On a rare Metal Harmony serious note, donating bone marrow is something we should all get involved with. The relative discomfort that the doner feels is negligible when you look at the good it can do. I'm going to get myself registered, go here if you want to do the same (UK only I'm afraid but information is easy to find).

Right, I'm off to get my hair cut like Justin Bieber.


Friday, 20 August 2010

Not a review of The Final Frontier

What a week, eh? How many reviews of The Final Frontier have you read? I think I'm on about ninety so far. I'll be honest homies; in my tiny mind, Iron Maiden are pretty much as good as old school heavy metal gets. However, after a couple of listens I'm still not getting a bonerus ginormus from this album. There's no doubting that songs like The Alchemist and Mother of Mercy are great songs but there's a lot of relatively uninspiring, long sections where not much happens. I do like it, I really do. I think my expectations were perhaps a little impossible to match though.

This being said, Maiden could come round my house, drink my last beer, piss on the sofa and take a shit without flushing and I'd still get the Live After Death album cover tattooed on my face.

Anyway, looks like I'm going to be missing out on an interview with/review of And Hell Follows With next week due to work commitments - yes, believe it or not writing album reviews and a weekly blog doesn't pay the bills - which is a shame. These lads have had a bit of a shoeing from the metal elite, as have every other deathcore band in existence but for me, Proprioception is a great big chunk of nasty metal noise that deserves a listen. Still, I'll get my deathcore fix from the Job For A Cowboy, Trigger The Bloodshed, Whitechapel and Annotations Of An Autopsy gig later this year. That, my friends, will be an awesome use of an evening.

And now for something completely different. My mate The Crook, when he's not either undergoing surgery or *allegedly* downloading copious amounts of music and films, is a master of sending me amazing videos he's found on the Webnet International. However, yesterday he surpassed all previous efforts with this. I'll leave you with what has to be the funniest thing I've seen in months..

Det Satan Club

Have a good weekend pickles


Friday, 13 August 2010

In the belly of a Kentish town

Gallows? In my home town? Go on then. It's difficult to think of a band in recent years that made more of an impact than the Watford bruisers. When their debut Orchestra of Wolves was released, the music press hailed them as the new saviours of true British punk rock, and the train kept rolling with their follow up Grey Britain. Simple, stripped down, spitting punk from ugly tattooed blokes - it's a beautiful thing.

My local venue has been going on about their big announcement for some time now and I was half expecting it to be some shit, reformed Britpop band so getting the email about Gallows was most exciting. With them, Cancer Bats, Lower Than Atlantis and The Casino Brawl all coming to my manner before the end of this year, South East England is on it's way to a right good kicking. Me likey long time.

Can you all just take a moment to raise your horns for Behemoth frontman Adam 'Nergal' Darski, who is currently receiving medical treatment for serious illness. Get well soon, you bible ripping heathen - more information here.

And excitingly, Alter Bridge are back at the end of September with their third album, AB III and if it's anywhere near as good as Blackbird I will make a pants milkshake.

Since I've mentioned pants, I can't help thinking of 30 Seconds To Mars. The sub-standard emo arsedribble they've produced in the past is nothing compared to the thunderously fucking awful new song. I know I'm not exactly target market as despite what my laughable beardline suggets, I'm not a teenage girl, but I like to think I know music and Jared Leto's boys are fucking shite. That is all.

On the subject of my laughable beardline, I got ID'd in a supermarket yesterday buying £150-worth of beer and wine with my work colleagues. That wasn't embarrassing at all. I'm never again wearing an Atreyu t-shirt when I need to buy booze.

Have a good weekend chickens


Friday, 6 August 2010

To Oz or not to Oz

I got a message from Shithouse the other day asking me if I wanted to go and see Guns N' Roses in October. If it were the original lineup I wouldn't be able to buy the tickets fast enough but as they are I find it difficult to get excited. Slash playing Paradise City and Sweet Child O' Mine with Myles Kennedy at Download 2010 was a beautiful thing, as not only does Kennedy hit every single note but witnessing one of the greatest guitarists in history playing some of the most anthemic riffs ever created was truly immense.

This being said, Kennedy's not the same kind of old school gritty frontman as Axl Rose who despite being pretty much a full on fucking lunatic, has to be one of the most distinctive lead singers in the history of rock and metal.

Thinking about it, maybe I do want to go...

This kind of flakey non-commitment is happening to me a lot at the moment. I've been toying with the idea of Ozzfest when it returns to London for one night only as Ozzy is one of the few remaining stalwarts of metal who I've not seen live. However, I have a fear that I'm going to be a tad disappointed. Maybe I'm being a bit negative but does Ozzy still have it? I'm actually asking that question because for me, I just don't know. The lineup is decent - Korn, Murderdolls, and the always excellent live Skindred - and it's only £40 so I can probably justify it to myself to head along. Perhaps.

I'm off up to Nottingham today for a stag do with the oft' mentioned Big Mearz and I'm wondering how we're going to cope with wearing relatively smart clothes so we can get into places. It's fair to say we're both scumbags and although I've not seen him for a few years I doubt he's ditched his Bad Religion t-shirt and general hairiness in exchange for some brown slacks and a red turtleneck.

Whilst I'm on the subject of clothes (which will happen very rarely on this blog) what the fucking fuck is going on with 'fashion'? Trying to find a shirt that didn't make me look like either an ugly woman or a homosexual lumberjack was nigh on impossible. And let me make this point loud and clear: CARDIGANS ARE WHAT GIRLS WEAR. And skinny jeans? If I wore skinny jeans I'd look like a Mr Whippy. What about normal jeans for the gentleman who enjoys perhaps a few too many beers, huh? Fucking fascists.

Anyway, enough of this. I've a bag to pack and a head to shave so must be off. Oh, and if you haven't played the new Iron Maiden game yet, get stuck in here.

Love you