Tears before bedtime

Friday 13th ranks alongside Halloween as a pretty metal day. Seemingly it's also an unlucky day but as I lost my wallet with all my cards, driving license, train ticket and a small amount of cash in on Thursday 12th I'm inclined to think this is all a lot of bollocks. Clearly losing a wallet is annoying, which brings me on to today's blog; List of Ways to Make a Metaller Cry: 1. Pretend you know about metal when you don't like metal Over the years, I'm sure everyone has had the questioning looks when people first find out you're into Deicide (band, not activity). However, I once received the response "I'm in to metal too; I went to Kings of Leon last year", which is just plain stupid. 2. Actually like metal if you're not a Metaller As a scene, metal is very protective of itself. The outpourings of rage when a non-metal band play festivals, the fury when American pop starlets throw the horns, the fact that to can buy a Guns n Roses T-shirt in Top Man, all combine to make us a pretty insular bunch. However, when talking to someone who dresses like a trendy London wanker, loves X Factor and can talk to you on a level about Anthrax, it's difficult not to bite the inner cheek somewhat. 3. Know literally fuck all about metal I don't mean not having an opinion on which Megadeth album is best, or whether Bon Scott or Brian Warner was a better AC/DC frontman. I mean not knowing who Metallica is, or who the lead singer of Black Sabbath is - both situations I have encountered in my life. Simply unacceptable and as the kids would say, *facepalm*. 4. Assume that being a Metaller is a phase As the ticker to my fourth decade on this earth approaches I'm almost certain I've gone through all my phases, which included terrible curtains/undercut hair, shellsuits (which did at one point become tucked into Doc Martens during a particularly complicated transition into a punk fan) and listening exclusively to HIM. I find it very unlikely that any Metaller over a certain age will wake up one day, bin the Machine Head back catalogue and replace it with Rhianna's latest codshit. 5. Liking anything other than metal if you are a Metaller The confusion on people's face if you display awareness of anything outside of the incarceration of Varg Vikernes is always amusing. In addition, having an encyclopaedic knowledge of mid-90s dance music or enjoying the debut solo single by N-Dubz hat wearing buffoon Dappy have caused my metal credentials to be questioned with furrowed brows by my metallic brethren. On a slightly more serious note, happy birthday to Mummy Metal Harmony, who hits the big 60 today. If it wasn't for her love of music and constant playing of Neil Young, Steely Dan, etc. there's a good chance you wouldn't be reading this blog today. So it's her fault, don't blame me. M \m/

To Oz or not to Oz

I got a message from Shithouse the other day asking me if I wanted to go and see Guns N' Roses in October. If it were the original lineup I wouldn't be able to buy the tickets fast enough but as they are I find it difficult to get excited. Slash playing Paradise City and Sweet Child O' Mine with Myles Kennedy at Download 2010 was a beautiful thing, as not only does Kennedy hit every single note but witnessing one of the greatest guitarists in history playing some of the most anthemic riffs ever created was truly immense.

This being said, Kennedy's not the same kind of old school gritty frontman as Axl Rose who despite being pretty much a full on fucking lunatic, has to be one of the most distinctive lead singers in the history of rock and metal.

Thinking about it, maybe I do want to go...

This kind of flakey non-commitment is happening to me a lot at the moment. I've been toying with the idea of Ozzfest when it returns to London for one night only as Ozzy is one of the few remaining stalwarts of metal who I've not seen live. However, I have a fear that I'm going to be a tad disappointed. Maybe I'm being a bit negative but does Ozzy still have it? I'm actually asking that question because for me, I just don't know. The lineup is decent - Korn, Murderdolls, and the always excellent live Skindred - and it's only £40 so I can probably justify it to myself to head along. Perhaps.

I'm off up to Nottingham today for a stag do with the oft' mentioned Big Mearz and I'm wondering how we're going to cope with wearing relatively smart clothes so we can get into places. It's fair to say we're both scumbags and although I've not seen him for a few years I doubt he's ditched his Bad Religion t-shirt and general hairiness in exchange for some brown slacks and a red turtleneck.

Whilst I'm on the subject of clothes (which will happen very rarely on this blog) what the fucking fuck is going on with 'fashion'? Trying to find a shirt that didn't make me look like either an ugly woman or a homosexual lumberjack was nigh on impossible. And let me make this point loud and clear: CARDIGANS ARE WHAT GIRLS WEAR. And skinny jeans? If I wore skinny jeans I'd look like a Mr Whippy. What about normal jeans for the gentleman who enjoys perhaps a few too many beers, huh? Fucking fascists.

Anyway, enough of this. I've a bag to pack and a head to shave so must be off. Oh, and if you haven't played the new Iron Maiden game yet, get stuck in here.

Love you
M
\m/