If you only read one post this year...

...Make it this one.

Rarely do I hear something that makes me stop in my tracks and go "fuck me unkindly with a kitchen utensil, what the devil is this?!". A few bands have achieved this effect - Leatherface, Lagwagon, HIM - and now Ninjaspy. "Who the balls are Ninjaspy?" I hear you murmur with vague interest. Well, let me tell you a story...

One of my Canada-based metallic amigos, JLittle4, kindly sent me a link to the Ninjaspy MySpace with the suggestion that I would shit my pants upon hearing their stuff. With that kind of promise, who could resist a listen?

With song titles such as Hit By a Cement Mixer and Out of Tampons I wasn't entirely sure what to expect but anticipated something Anal Cunt-esque. Instead, I was greeted with something that sounds, um, it's like...okay, bear with me here:

36 Crazyfists are playing pool with the Voodoo Glow Skulls. In walks System of a Down and puts a huge stack of £1 coins on the table, then stands impatiently waiting for the game to finish. Dani Filth's been drinking for five hours, wanders through, knocks the coins over, and smashes a couple of drinks. 36 Crazyfists pocket the money, much to the chagrin of SOAD, who proceed to start swinging pool cues at all and sundry, including bar man Randy Blythe. A glass gets thrown into the jukebox which starts playing NOFX's Heavy Petting Zoo album. Amidst the chaos, someone hits record on an 8-track. The noise they capture is Ninjaspy.

This is the most unique music I've heard for a long time. The structure of the songs is so damn complicated that you never know where it's going next. Are you going to be in a circle pit, are you going to be skanking, are you going to be holding a lighter in the air? More often than not it will be all of the above. The vocals are somewhere between deranged and beautiful, the bass lines are hypnotic but wounding, it's all over the fucking shop and is ABSOLUTELY AWESOME.

Now enough of this reading nonsense and subject your ears to their MySpace. With an intro from Lamb Of God, Meshuggah, Gojira and Static-X you know this shit is worth a listen.