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Wednesday, 16 September 2009

A day to remember. Or possibly not.

There's some fucking stupid "days" floating around but on September 10th, the bar was raised. Ozzy Osbourne Day? Don't get me wrong, the guy is a legend and has done great things for the world of metal - some believe he even started the fucking scene - but an actual day? And how does one celebrate this day? Sniff a line of ants? Attempt to murder family members? Speak like you've had a stroke or five?

But I started to wonder; who else should have a day, and what would it entail?

Brett Michaels Day - each man has 12 whorebags move in, he nails them all, then proclaims a winner, which doesn't work out. Repeat next year. I can see this being popular with 50% of the population.

Lars Ulrich Day - after spending the whole day being pretentious, compulsory sub-standard drumming for all.

Johan Hegg Day - compulsory growth of an enormous beard and drinking of much mead. Those unable to grow a beard (guilty) to have stick on facial hair subsidised by NHS.

The opportunities are endless so please feel free to add yours. Oh, I've already thought of Varg Vikerenes Day and Gary Glitter Day before anyone tries to be hilarious.

On the subject of Johan Hegg's beard, I reviewed The Crusher Reissue from Amon Amarth this week. If you're a fan of these Nordic deathmeisters, read my soon-to-be-published scribblings on MetalasFuck as this is an absolute must for the collection.

Alongside this, the debut outing from Wisconsin thrashsters Lazarus A.D. was some impressive shit. This'll be up soon, so read it if you're a fan of Megadeth and the Bay Area cartel as this is a real circle pit-inducing pounder. Megadeth were also kind enough to stream the whole of new album Endgame on MySpace. I've only heard one bad thing about this album and that was from some fat bespectacled goon in Canada. Apart from that, general consensus is it's the best thing since Rust In Pieces. I've not sat and dissected it yet so am keen to know what you lot think. I'm not really; just being polite.

And as expected, Teutonic homo-industrialists Rammstein are back. There's rumours of a headline slot at next year's festivals (and so the Sonisphere vs. Download row begins) but before hand they're playing a number of big ticket shows around the UK, including London Wembley Arena on February 4th. Tickets go on sale Friday September 18th at 9:00am so will be on eBay being sold by "Mr. No_Interest_In_Music_Cunt" at 9:15am.

So all in all, now's a good time to be into metal. The stupid hot summer is over and once again, darkness is sweeping across the land. The gig season is getting closer, which is exciting me to the point of vinegar strokes, as it seems like ages since I've had the shit beaten out of me by a group of sweaty men.

I'm off to listen to Outloud some more. Still not got the album yet? Fucking idiot.



debbie.dee said...

There will be no brett michaels day in my house :)

Unless maybe there could be a trade off with a Gene Simmons day where it's customary to invite round unusually long tongued men for the day

Popular with the other 50% of the population methinks!

MADman said...

I guess it's only fair...