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Friday, 14 January 2011

A letter

"To whom it may concern,

Can I start with a very basic, simple point; Devildriver are a heavy band. I'd go one step further and suggest they're a fucking heavy band. Call them thrash metal, groove metal, call them anal leakage metal for all I care but it simply isn't up for debate that Devildriver are a heavy, metal band.

But lo, upon the release of the devastatingly metal new single Dead to Rights this week from forthcoming album Beast, the thumb-sucking trouser soilers of the Interweb yet again began their crusade to prove everything apart from Deicide is radio-friendly pop music. And of course, Dez Fafara's tenure as frontman of nu metal clowns Coal Chamber means he can no longer be taken seriously as a vocalist. Oh, hang on, haven't Devildriver produced five crushing albums and toured relentlessly for the last nine years? Yes, they have. Comparing Coal Chamber and Devildriver is like comparing a weekend in Blackpool with a Cocker Spaniel.

Devildriver aren't everyone's cup of tea, which I fine, but by the hairs on my low-hanging left bollock they are a metal band. A fucking great metal band. The kind of metal band that gets big, sweaty, tattooed scumbags running around in circles pits the size of football pitches. The kind of metal band that plays every live show with a cock-out passion and fire often omitted by bigger 'heroes' of the genre. And to be quite honest, if you can't see or didn't already know this then you, sir or madam, are a fucking buffoon.

Kindest regards,


Kay Smoljak said...

Hear hear!

Oh, except for the bit about Coal Chamber. I liked them :)

MADman said...

Coal Chamber certainly did have a lovable charm. The video for 'Loco' was ace!