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Friday, 18 February 2011

Baby, baby, baby, oooh fuck...

Justin Bieber is the best thing to happen to heavy metal in years. Thanks to the Lego-haired Hilary Swank-a-like, the ridiculously banal crusade by Tipper Gore and the PMRC to censor music has yet again been rendered completely pointless and hideously flawed.

Gore's beef back in the 1980s was that albums marketed towards children should have a warning on them. Call me an overweight big-nosed skinhead but I never really saw the likes of Twisted Sister as something for the kiddies, hence Dee "The Fucking Metal Hero" Snider's stance against ol' Gorey (incidentally, I'm not going into masses of detail about the Parents Music Resource Centre as it's boring and I'm no expert. Google it for more info if you want). Now, music that is categorically marketed to children is the likes of Justin Bieber (and thus the circle completes).

In a recent Rolling Stone interview, the high-bollocked paedo dream suggested that, homosexuality was a lifestyle choice, America (his main source of fans and revenue) is evil and my personal favourite, abortion is wrong, even in cases of rape, as "everything happens for a reason".

Let me pose this question to parents; would you rather have your kids listen to heavy metal music and admire the likes of Scott Ian of Anthrax, a brutal shredder in a genre-defining thrash metal band and a dedicated family man with many years of marriage under his belt. Or Cradle of Filth's Dani Filth, well-documented as being a loving husband and father. Or a plethora of other decent men? No? Perhaps you'd you prefer them to have pictures of an uneducated, teenage imbecile adorning their walls whilst they subscribed to his embarrassingly incorrect right-wing ideals? Well? Tipper? You're a Democrat, what do you think?

I'm not suggesting metal is the wholesome breeding ground of perfect role models; I certainly wouldn't send my kids on a long weekend with Varg Vikernes. But whilst the ongoing debate about what kids should or shouldn't listen to rages on, look behind the music.

How about chart-topping R'n'B star Chris Brown, who enjoys using his martial art skills to kick the shit out of his girlfriend Rhianna?

There are arseholes in every genre, this is undeniable. Bieber is still young and there will no doubt be PR teams worldwide working to correct his monumental fuck up. But unfortunately his opinions are out there now and they matter to millions of tweens worldwide. Rather than being concerned that your kid is listening to Tomb of the Mutilated, which is pure theatre, be concerned that their high-profile role models are in the press attacking women and answering questions like a Fox News stalwart.

Up the Irons.



Simon said...



MADman said...

Cheers homie


Jay said...

Nicely said, good sir.

MADman said...

Thanks Jay \m/