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Friday, 4 March 2011

How to not win friends or influence people

As some of you probably know, when I'm not hiding behind a daft alias and masquerading as a music scribe, I work as a corporate suitwearer in a suit-wearing corporate organisation. I'm currently attempting to find a junior minion to do my bidding, which means interviews. Obviously.

Most prospective lackeys type their CV into Google Translate and go from 'English' to '80s Wall Street Bollocks' so once people are in front of me, I like to find out more about them as people. I generally ask what their taste in music is in the vain hope that someone will say "I may not fulfill the stereotype but I'm actually into blistering, riff-laden thrash and abusive grindcore". Sadly the answer tends to be "oh, well, I like a bit of everything really". No, you don't.

Earlier this week I interviewed a chap and asked the music question. His reply was "repetitive beat music", which we established meant house, trance, electro, and so on. My colleague mentioned that I should never be asked my taste in music as it's shit, to which the interviewee replied "right, so you like heavy metal?".

Application: DENIED.

Have a beery weekend scummers

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