A fun night out for all the family

February 19th finally came round, so I got my shit together and made the journey over to Kentish Town to take in the might Children Of Bodom. Whilst I was cacking myself with excitement about seeing another fine Finnish export, I was also well up for a bit of their support - the mighty death metal scene icons Cannibal Corpse. This was a hella smart move by Bodom; nothing says you mean business more than taking one of the most hardcore bands ever to walk the Earth on tour with you.

There was a fair mix of colours there but in all honesty I counted more Corpse than Bodom. And when they took they stage, they took the room. The pit went into some kind of rabid frenzy as crowd pleaser "I Cum Blood" came over the PA. George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher kindly dedicated "Fucked With A Knife" to all the ladies in the room, which was greeted with cheers (really girls??), and the barrage continued for the next hour, a violent assault of kick drum, down-tuned everything and arsehole-spasming vocals. Finishing with "Hammer Smashed Face" was an inevitability and I surprised my self by knowing the tune quite well. An impromptu "Stripped, Raped and Strangled" again threw the crowd into some kind of fucking batshit nasty hellhole mess, and off they went.

I'm not really a fan of Cannibal Corpse's music but I did buy one of their shirts. Not to be cool, as I am already fucking much cool, but because I dig what they stand for. A 13-year-old kid can walk into any HMV and buy a Corpse CD, then listen to songs such as the above. But he can't buy "Striptease", the toilet comedy featuring Demi Moore and her implausibly round tits. He can then walk down the street into Virgin, or Zavvi, whateverdafuck, and buy a Carcass album with a JFK autopsy photo on the front, but can't buy a Dylan Moran DVD. Cannibal Corpse exemplify how censorship is the most hypocritical bucket of leper shit known to man. Okay, the albums were banned, but hey ain't now. And does a kid watching "Harlem Nights" starring Richard Pryor really seem worse than listening to songs about brutal murder, rape, necrophilia and torture? Oh, actually....

Meanwhile, back at the Forum, Bodom had taken to the stage. I insisted they'd kick off with "Living Dead Beat" and boy, was I wrong. Mind you, it came in second so not too bad. I am still yet to make a single correct prediction about openers... but anyways, the crowd was insane. I was a bit poorly having spent the night before puking and shitting for a few hours but when I saw that pit start to swirl, I had to get involved. "Bodom After Midnight" caused mass hysteria and the singalong during "In Your Face" took things to a new height. Not familiar with the song? Imagine 2,000 sweaty fuckers screaming:

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK MOTHER FUCKER
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK MOTHER FUCKER
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUUUUUUUUUCK!

Passion? You bet yo' ass, boi.

As I left the pit, I crashed very hard very quickly so we had to go. I don't know if they played "Are You Dead Yet?" but that was what I was after. Still, 'm sure I'll catch them at Download (pleasepleasepleaseplease)

In short, COB cut us all a new one. The most impressive aspect for me was the seemingly effortless skill of Janne Wirman on keyboards. The speed at which he plays not only compliments the ridiculous shreddery of Alexi Laiho, but at time it surpasses it. DragonForce's Vadim Pruzhanov comes close for showmanship but for raw, arthritis-inducing finger trickery, Janne has it for me. His girlfriend must be very.... no, I can't make this gag. Too shit, even by my standards.

DOWNLOAD UPDATE:
Killswitch, ZZ Top and Marilyn Manson?? Oh you know it baby. Bring that shit on!!