I'm not a sporty person. I play darts to a local pub level, I know my way around the pool table table and am reasonably adept at table tennis. It really goes no further than that. I am, however, a man who enjoys a challenge and a man who likes doing things for charity, so it's with a sense of overwhelming trepidation that I'm going to be running the London Marathon in April 2014.
A few years back I ran 6 miles for Sport Relief, which was bloody horrible as it was just twelve 0.5 mile shuttle runs along the Brighton sea front. Boring, cold and exhausting. And as I was running with my brother in law, I couldn't listen to any music. The only noise accompaniment was my James Gandolfini laboured breathing and the sound of an ill-advised full English I'd had two hours before the event slopping around in my stomach.
I've been out on a few runs over the last couple of weeks - I'm not in any shape to leave training until the new year - and have been listening to different musical styles to see if I can get exactly the right balance of beats to help me take on 26+ miles through Central London. Here's what's happened so far:
1. HIM
Theory: One of my all-time favourite bands would inspire me whilst I was pounding the Tarmac.
Fact: About three songs into Greatest Lovesongs Vol. 666 I had no energy whatsoever and instead, wanted to sit naked in a darkened room with a bottle of red wine.
Iron Maiden
Theory: there's nothing more motivating than Maiden. Even if I'm asleep, as soon as I hear the opening bars of Aces High I feel the need to charge bayonet aloft at the nearest German.
Fact: Despite classics such as The Trooper and 2 Minutes being perfect for a bit of a hill climb, the long, undulating nature of Ancient Mariner and Phantom are better suited to holding a pint in the air than any kind of distance running.
Terror
Theory: Energy, and plenty of it.
Fact: Perfect for sprinting, but sustained pace is impossible. As soon as Lowest of the Low comes on my legs start firing away, then it stops and I realise my heart is about to explode.
Limp Bizkit
Theory: I love them, and Wes Borland's bouncy as fuck riffs would mean it's easy to get into a rhythm.
Fact: I get out of breath running and rapping at the same time. I can't help myself.
Miscellaneous early 2000s trance
Theory: Monotonous beat constantly thumping in my ears will be a metronome for my feet.
Fact: Works bloody well. The music becomes a bit of background noise as opposed to something to listen to though, which means I do tend to focus on how much my legs hurt and/or the fact that I should have probably had a dump before going out for a run.
So it's still a work in progress. If I can get the balance right though, it'll be a piece of piss I'm sure. Next stop, something like Nicki Minaj as I'm sure this will make me try to run away from my ears.
The serious bit: I'm running for a charity called Child Bereavement UK, who do amazing work with families who have sadly lost their children, or children who have lost parents. If you can head over to my page and spare a couple of quid it would be spectacularly good of you and I would be eternally grateful.
Until next time,
M
\m/
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