Yo' mamma. Well, my mum, actually.

Alice Cooper: what a legend. He brought us Poison which is without doubt one of the finest mainstream metal songs of all time, his antics with a chicken have put him in the metal history books but most of all, his breakfast show on Planet Rock gets me up and running every single day. You just can't beat a bit of Free's Wishing Well at 6:15am.

Today was special though. Ol' Vincent kicked off with Neil Young, closely followed by Tom Petty, both of whom are up there with my mum's favourite artists. I'm hoping this is a sign, as MADmum is currently in hospital after falling down her stairs and busting her leg. She's got an operation today to get everything pinned backed together.

MADmum gave me, Bro Dude and my sister an epic start to life with her staple diet of Crosby, Stills and Nash, Steely Dan, Neil Young, Tom Petty, The Byrds, Motown and old Ratpack music. Coupled with my dad's love of Dire Straits, The Rolling Stones and the fact he owned a first edition Paranoid vinyl, I've got a lot to be thank them for. So horns up high for me mum; get better soon, you clumsy moo.

On the subject of quite serious shit, I'm doing a fun run (massive oxymoron) for a UK stillborn and neonatal death charity - feel free to find out more and give me money here.

But back to the metal! I have an absolute plethora of new shit to plough through, including the new Stone Sour album Audio Secrecy. I'm hearing good things so far and seeing as Come What(ever) May gave me a priapism, I can't wait to get stuck into it. Then there's The Conscious Sedation by System Divide and Dawn of Ashes' Genocide Chapter which both look promising. I'm also enjoying Aeon's Path of Fire at present; a bit Trigger The Bloodshed-y, very much my sweet spot.

Right, time to fuck off. May your weekends be filled with much merriment, alcoholic pleasures and rough sexual intercourse.

M
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Is this the end? Not a chance

**DISCLAIMER**
MADman had an exceptionally big night, with highlights including sleeping briefly on a bench on the banks of the Thames and getting home as Hot Chick was off to work. Therefore, if the following is total bullshit, he accepts no responsibility whatsoever. In addition, any criticism may make him cry

It has to be said that the lineup for Download 2009 was a fucking sterling effort by the organisers. Motley, Slipknot, Journey, Leppard, a reformed Faith No More; the list is extensive and I was pretty convinced that this was as good as it was ever going to get. But on Wednesday, December 9th, the goalposts weren't so much moved, more taken over to North Korea and discretely obliterated in a covert underground nuclear explosion. The rumour mill had been circulating the possibility of Iron Maiden headlining Sonisphere UK 2010 and sure enough, there they were. However, what wasn't expected was the additional information that Rammstein, Alice Cooper, Slayer, The Cult, Anthrax and Iggy and The Stooges would also be on the bill. Read that again. And again. Now pause, go make a cup of tea, think about how much that list fucking rules and continue reading.

I love the Download Festival. It's an epic weekend. But in 2010, it's going to have one hell of a fight against Sonisphere based on this initial announcement. Not all of us can afford tickets to both and if there's a decision to be made, it's going to have to be something arse-rapingly astonishing to pull people away from the Irons. Few bands have the same draw but some of the names in the hat have pretty widespread appeal that would bring some non-metal money through the door - Bon Jovi are a big rumour, as are Green Day. I'd love to see both but Slayer, Anthrax, Alice...Andy Copping and the Download team had better have something inexplicably phenomenal planned. Ozzy? Or Sabbath with the original lineup? Megadeth? How about Queen with the original lineup? That'd be impressive. Bit dull after a while though.

There are clearly a million bands that can make a festival as hot as your first dump the morning after twelve pints and a madras but it's the big guns that get the numbers. I'm not suggesting Download is going to pack it's bags and fuck off - this is the 30th year of Donnington-based metallness after all. But Sonisphere has come to the UK with a global pedigree. It's cheaper, plus they're currently giving away free tickets to Sonisphere Poland with every weekend ticket to the UK event. The crazy futher muckers.

So what's it gonna be, Download? What have you got for us?

Please God, NOT My Chemical Romance again.

M
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