Headlining things

Is anyone else bored of seeing Cara Delavigne's face? Everywhere I look there's a pout and a pair of thick eyebrows. It's thoroughly annoying.

Anyway, I digress. Avenged Sevenfold; what a return. Following on from the tragic loss of founder member and drummer Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan in 2011 it's fair to say A7X's future was uncertain. However, the release of Hail to the King at the beginning of September saw them enter the UK album charts at number 1. Not the rock chart, not the alternative chart; the actual chart. M Shadows et al are currently sharing musical real estate with the likes of Ellie Goulding and feeble dribblers Passenger.

I've never been a huge fan of Avenged. Don't get me wrong, their back catalogue contains some absolute bangers but they're not a band that has ever caused my metal scrotum to tighten. I saw them support Maiden in 2008 and remember thinking they were pretty decent but my adulation goes no further than that.

This being said, I'm clearly in a minority. The hoards of former Tweens who inevitably bought Hail to the King will think I'm an idiot, as will the bookers who have Avenged Sevenfold headlining at Wembley Arena in November. Plus, the Huntingdon Beach mob are widely regarded as a shoe-in for a headline slot at Download 2014.

It seems that we are finally seeing the next wave of 'that big' metal bands. Slipknot blazed the trail to join the likes of Metallica and Iron Maiden as 'nothing other than a headliner' at festivals, and there's every chance that A7X will follow. 

Who else can get there? My ponderings on some of the popular names banded about are as follows:

Trivium?

They looked like they would do it but their insanely fast rise to the almost-top was ultimately their downfall. Despite Shogun and In Waves proving the Floridians are still major metal contenders, they're unlikely to reach the levels of popularity experienced around the Ascendency era. 

Lamb of God?

Not yet, but in time. Years of graft, tune upon tune and a legendary frontman tick a lot of boxes, plus a headline slot at Bloodstock 2013 means Randy and the boys are definitely on the ladder.

Bullet For My Valentine?

Probably, but it won't be a popular choice. The early days of metalcore-meets-thrash with a pretty frontman means that BFMV were the ones to watch a three or four years ago. However, a couple of weak releases later, they're becoming a bit of an also-ran.

Bring Me The Horizon?

Nowhere near ready to take on 80,000 from the main stage but this mob have been improving and improving over the last three albums, culminating in this year's fucking excellent Sempiternal. Another couple of albums of this level and its difficult to see how BMTH can't reach the top of the game.

30 Seconds to Mars?

It would be a popular choice with teenage girls but other than that, fuck right off.

Right, I need to try and find a way to listen to the new Crossfaith album whilst at work. Without even hearing it I can almost guarantee it'll be in my top ten of the year.

M

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Headlining things

Is anyone else bored of seeing Cara Delavigne's face? Everywhere I look there's a pout and a pair of thick eyebrows. It's thoroughly annoying.

Anyway, I digress. Avenged Sevenfold; what a return. Following on from the tragic loss of founder member and drummer Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan in 2011 it's fair to say A7X's future was uncertain. However, the release of Hail to the King at the beginning of September saw them enter the UK album charts at number 1. Not the rock chart, not the alternative chart; the actual chart. M Shadows et al are currently sharing musical real estate with the likes of Ellie Goulding and feeble dribblers Passenger.

I've never been a huge fan of Avenged. Don't get me wrong, their back catalogue contains some absolute bangers but they're not a band that has ever caused my metal scrotum to tighten. I saw them support Maiden in 2008 and remember thinking they were pretty decent but my adulation goes no further than that.

This being said, I'm clearly in a minority. The hoards of former Tweens who inevitably bought Hail to the King will think I'm an idiot, as will the bookers who have Avenged Sevenfold headlining at Wembley Arena in November. Plus, the Huntingdon Beach mob are widely regarded as a shoe-in for a headline slot at Download 2014.

It seems that we are finally seeing the next wave of 'that big' metal bands. Slipknot blazed the trail to join the likes of Metallica and Iron Maiden as 'nothing other than a headliner' at festivals, and there's every chance that A7X will follow. 

Who else can get there? My ponderings on some of the popular names banded about are as follows:

Trivium?

They looked like they would do it but their insanely fast rise to the almost-top was ultimately their downfall. Despite Shogun and In Waves proving the Floridians are still major metal contenders, they're unlikely to reach the levels of popularity experienced around the Ascendency era. 

Lamb of God?

Not yet, but in time. Years of graft, tune upon tune and a legendary frontman tick a lot of boxes, plus a headline slot at Bloodstock 2013 means Randy and the boys are definitely on the ladder.

Bullet For My Valentine?

Probably, but it won't be a popular choice. The early days of metalcore-meets-thrash with a pretty frontman means that BFMV were the ones to watch a three or four years ago. However, a couple of weak releases later, they're becoming a bit of an also-ran.

Bring Me The Horizon?

Nowhere near ready to take on 80,000 from the main stage but this mob have been improving and improving over the last three albums, culminating in this year's fucking excellent Sempiternal. Another couple of albums of this level and its difficult to see how BMTH can't reach the top of the game.

30 Seconds to Mars?

It would be a popular choice with teenage girls but other than that, fuck right off.

Right, I need to try and find a way to listen to the new Crossfaith album whilst at work. Without even hearing it I can almost guarantee it'll be in my top ten of the year.

M

\m/

Trivium are better than you

A good friend of mine once told me that seeing Whitechapel live would make me shit. Last week I had the opportunity to find out for myself and whilst I didn't physically manufacture any hard farts, I could feel a definite wobbling of the colon.

With Trivium headlining and Chimaira in the second slot, Whitechapel had the unenviable task of opening. I got ready in the only way I know how; by standing at the bar and pounding beers with Killerleah (this was her first metal show at a proper venue but her second Trivium experience) before Hot Chick turned up. The barmaid felt the need to tell me I was the oldest person they'd seen there. Cheers.

Whitechapel came out and immediately went so fucking hard it was unbelievable. After one song the room had started to fill and there was a mental circle pit, stuff was flying all over the shop; it's the first time I've seen an opening band get this kind of response. Lead singer Phil Bozeman isn't the biggest bloke in the world but the noise he makes is bloody horrific. Chimaira had to play an absolute blinder to follow them. Thankfully they did, and the inevitable but epic sing-a-long during Resurrection caused me to sustain a pretty handsome rock-on.

Being a Trivium fan, I've always thought their live shows are shit hot but let's be honest; there's no fucking way they can compete with Whitechapel and Chimaira in terms of heaviness. Incorrect, you penises! Matt Heafy, with his enormous face/hair combo, has stopped pussying out of the screaming vocals (although Corey Beaulieu does add a bit of extra meat when necessary) and has reinstated his position as a solid frontman.

I couldn't resist getting stuck in so stripped down to the ol' vest and got involved. The pit was packed; it was hard to get a circle going but we metallers are a dedicated bunch. I was also pretty impressed by the amount of younglings going over the top during Like Light To Flies with little or no regard for their beautiful hair. My second crowd surf was somewhat hindered when fucking Moses turned up and parted the crowd, leading me to fall and land on my elbows. That was an enjoyable feeling.

It was one of the best gigs I've been to in many moons. Three bands with very different sounds, all one top form, epically sweaty pit, crowd surfing, a million beers, partial nudity, almost having a little cry when I smashed my bones into the floor; what more do you want? Huh? Exactly.

I'm off to try and shake this hangover. Can't decide if I'm going to puke or shit myself. Whichever, should probably find a toilet.

Ciao slutbags

M

\m/

Wormgrind?

After the abomination that was February's gig attendance, I'm hoping March is going to be less of a catastrophic failure. This month I'm lucky enough to have British metallers Malefice playing about a ten minute walk from my house, which is going to be pretty fucking special (providing the home town can deliver a better turnout than we did with Madball). These guys made it into my top ten of 2009 with their second album Dawn Of Reprisal and I've only seen them live once in the past, so one is particularly excited, innit.

Then it's the perpetually hated Trivium, with support coming from the excellent Chimaira and Whitechapel. So all in all, good things are on the horizon. Best not jinx it though...

The mighty Maiden have confirmed that their new album, without doubt the most anticipated release of 2010, will be called The Final Frontier. I can already foresee me, Shithouse and Bandy camping outside the local HMV on release day (which is as yet TBC) as I'm nowhere near an important enough music hack to get a preview copy. Although if anyone from their management is reading this, I will do anything to get my hands on it. Anything (cue horrendous and scarring image of me being sexy and seductive).

One of the most frustrating things about the last week is BBC director general Mark Thompson's proposed closure of BBC 6Music. For those of you who don't know, 6Music is a DAB radio station in the UK that delivers a genuine mix of music on a daily basis. They may not have a plethora of metal on their playlists but you can expect a healthy chunk of G'n'R, Maiden, Metallica, and the like. Plus, I got a massive rouge throbber this week when DJ Steve Lamacq span the Leatherface classic Do The Right Thing. That man deserves a fucking OBE as I didn't think anyone after the legendary John Peel would ever adorn the airwaves with the wonders of Sunderland's finest punk legends. So do me a favour; sign this petition as it may be the only way to prevent me having to listen to Lady Gaga and Girls Aloud all day in the office.

Album of the week for me has to be Wormrot's latest beauty Abuse. 23 songs,including eloquently titled So Fierce For Fuck!?, Shitlack and Fuck...I'm Drunk, this quality album is over and done with in about 20 minutes. I can honestly say that Wormrot are my favourite grindcore band from Singapore, without a doubt.

(Must digress briefly as I've got my non-Apple MP3 on shuffle at the mo and NOFX Don't Call Me White has just come one. What. A. Fucking. Tune.)

My festival update:

Sonisphere - Skunk Anansie, Funeral For A Friend, Apocalyptica, Fighstar, Apocalyptica, Gallows

Download - no announcement

Download wins, purely as I have never been less interested by announcement than Sonisphere's this week. A few good bands there but hardly enough to make you need a bit of locked-door private time.

And on that note, I bid you adieu. Oh, and check out the latest installment of my column on MetalasFuck; I know you've nothing better to do.

Have a fucking brutal weekend

M

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Fun in public toilets

I like Guinness a lot. The rich, silky, slightly metallic taste, the deep, peaty aroma; everything about it is right. Problem is, the day after indulging in a number of these darkened treats you tend to feel like you're being violently raped in the head by a moose whilst having to control a stomach hell bent of leaving your arse with kidneys, liver and eyeballs in tow.

To summarise, I have a hangover. But lo, good things have happened this week, the main being New York hardcore legends Madball announcing a 20th anniversary UK tour, which inexplicably includes a 250-capacity converted public toilet about five minutes from my flat. Combine this with a couple of tickets to see Trivium in March 2010, supported by the awesome Chimaira and unbelievably brutal Whitechapel and all in all, happy fucking days.

It's largely accepted that liking Trivium is uncool amongst the metal elitist penises but I'll say it loud and proud - I really like Trivium (fair enough that wasn't particularly loud but it's the best I can muster). Having seen them a number of times, including a tiny London gig that raised the bar hugely("And then it happened...again", December 12th 2008), they always put on an awesome show so fuck you, alright? This being said, my main reason for bruising the ol' credit card is Whitechapel. Ever since hearing This Is Exile and almost starting to cry due to it's sheer savagery, I've been keen to see if the over-stringed guitar weilders can do the same at a live show. Most folks say yes but until it's proven, I'm reserving judgement.

As I'm a lucky bastard, I've secured a copy of Amon Amarth's Versus the World Reissue, which if it's anything like The Crusher Reissue, is going to peel my face of and replace it with the severed beard of a fallen Viking warlord.

If I may rant briefly, I'm pissed off with Atreyu. The new album Congregation of the Damned was released this week and being a bit gay for Atreyu, I got a substantial sense of scrotal tightening when I saw that for one day only, the album was available for download at the handsome price of $3.99. I don't normally download albums as I like everything about CDs (which I suppose is old fashioned now?) but for £1.50, I'd have to be an indescribable cunt not to, eh? So I set up the Amazon download tool thingy, clicked on "buy", did all that nonsense, only to be informed that the offer was only open to the USA. Rubbish. So if anyone from Atreyu is reading this (ha!) send me a copy or I'll whinge further. Or I'll just go and buy it, to be honest.

Oh, and cheers to the folk at Rock Radio for thinking my shit is good enough to have on their site - my blog on there will be updated a couple of times a month with yet more insightful wonderings from an opinionated drunk. There's a load of other cool shit on there so click on the link and have a gander.

Got to run - Guinness revenge.

Ciao

M

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An Epic time or a Feelgood moment?

With less than 5 days to go, my sphincter quivers further at the prospect of the beer-drinking Download carnage that will soon ensue. But some of the clashes are pretty harsh. The key one, of course, being Faith No More vs. Motley Crue.

Let's look at some of the facts; Faith No More have been separated for over a decade and with the exception of a small warm up gig in Brixton, this will be the first chance that thousands of people, including my white self, have had to see them. They have been credited/blamed for starting nu metal, and songs like "Jizzlobber", "Midlife Crisis" and absolute twatting anthem "Epic" are absolute stomp-along classics of our time.

But alas, Motley Crue are perhaps, no, not perhaps, they are the definitive hair/heavy/sleaze metal band. Reading Nikki Sixx's "Heroin Diaries" or the band biog "The Dirt" shows you what a hedonistic fucked-up bunch of oft-dead, grimy bastards these boys are. And that's not the best bit. With seminal work "Dr. Feelgood" reaching the double-decade this year, word on the bridle path is that they're playing the whole album, start to finish. Oh good lord...

So there's the dilemma. Motley Crue's set eats into 45 minutes of FNM's. I shall have to let the gods of chance decide because at the moment, I have just a touch less than no fucking idea.

Other brutal clashes for this MADman are:

The Prodigy vs. Slipknot

God Forbid vs. Black Stone Cherry

Lacuna Coil vs. Killswitch Engage

Trivium vs. Def Leppard/Whitesnake is kind of a clash but having seen Trivium twice (maybe three times?) and knowing I'm pretty much never going to see the NWOBHM stalwarts again, it has to be Joe Elliott et al. This being said, no fucker is going to miss Leppard and 'Snake, so maybe Trivium will be a good choice........ nah. Sorry Matt Heafy; I love you boys but decisions need to be made, and I must stand firm.

Can't wait for Fightstar too....................................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Almost kept a straight face.

Is this love?

And so it continues. The rumour mill was churning a fair bit of stuff around, most of which was too good to be true. But lo, it did happen, and it was good. Def Leppard and Whitesnake for Download 2009. Un-feckshatting-believable!

It's not just the fact that these two titans of hair/power/whatevadafuck metal have recorded some of the greatest singalong rock tunes of all time (anyone not know the chorus to "Let's Get Rocked"?) but that they are playing on the same bill as modern legends such as the mighty 'Knot, other gargantuan often dead rock lords Motley Crue, and already what is proving to be a "who's who" of genre-defining bands.

Trivium are there too; last time I saw them I had my arm around Matt Heafy and was in a pit of about 5 ("I stand corrected", November 23rd 2008) so it'll be fucking tits to see them at the other end of the spectrum.

Rumours of Faith No More seem unfounded so far but Lamb Of God are looking good. To be honest, this festival is as if someone reached inside my head and took a photo of what posters for MADownload would look like. I'm running out of bands that I adore and HAVE to see:
Maiden? Done it mate.
Metallica? Less than a month.
Skynyrd? May 31st fella.
Leatherface? Yup.
HIM? Losing count geezer.
Lagwagon? One of the first ever.
Machine Fucking Head? Been fucking there.
Poison?.........Poison?..........

We're one band away from perfection..........

And then it happened...again

As you can see from my last post ("And then it happened", December 6th) Slipknot have recently exposed me to the most exquisite visual/aural spectacle that metal can offer. I really thought I'd struggle to find something comparable in terms of sheer experience. Whoever the next gig was, it was going to be a tough one...

I got tickets for Trivium's intimate gig at London's Borderline ("I Stand Corrected...", November 23rd) and have been looking forward to it a fair ol' bit. Unfortunately Hot Chick couldn't make it to the show with me, which is kinda like Page without Plant, or an XL cheeseburger without bacon. So, with teary resolve, I found a surrogate gig buddy in KillerLeah, a sound Kiwi mate of mine. She's not in to metal in any way, shape or form but is interested in music, likes the Foos, Chilis; that kinda rock ting. A couple of beers, quick Guinness in Crobar (baptism of fire for a girl not used to the metal vibe) and in we went.

Happily there was a merch stand - don't tend to get those in the intimate settings. The thing that surprised me the most was how small and pretty empty The Borderline was. It has an official capacity of 275 but you could easily shoehorn another couple of hundred in there. This is metal, after all; we're used to the taste of each other's sweat. Chugged a few Tuborgs and on the Florida thrashers came to a pretty loud reception, considering the size of the crowd.

First song was "Kirisute Gomen" off "Shogun" and if I'm 100% honest, at this point I thought it was just going to be an A-Z "Shogun" run through. Which would be fine but a bit, well, predictable. Yet again, keeping to form, I was fucking miles off.

Bearing in mind the last gig in this size of venue was the dire Staind affair at the Hard Rock ("Um, hello???", September 23rd), I was apprehensive that we'd get some diva behaviour from these boys but once they'd blown "Kirisute" out, the banter started. Matt Heafy, fucking massive hair and all, was more than up for a bit of chat. Refreshing, considering he's often portrayed as a bit sullen and "frontman" in the music press. However, the biggest surprise for me was that only a few minutes in, they introduced "Like Light To Flies" from "Ascendancy". This is the song that got them their major airtime and as far as I'm concerned, one of their greatest achievements. Heafy dutifully caned himself for the laughable hair he has in the video before fucking shredding the shit out of this tune. I chucked my (well, Hot Chick's) camera at KillerLeah and got my white ass right into the shit. Now, I say "into the shit" but a pit of about 5 people doesn't really count. However, being about 5 feet from the stage whilst they were hammering through this tune was something else.

As the night continued, a few more beers were consumed by crowd and band alike and the banter increased. Trivium were having an absolute blast and subsequently, so were we. Travis Smith, Paolo Gregoletto and Corey Beaulieu ripped the piss out of each other, had some "in" jokes, and at one point, indulged in a Dave Chappelle "Lil' Jon" exchange of "Whaaaat??? Yeeeeaaaah!" That might make no sense to anyone reading this but YouTube it - funny as fuck.

The set list was virtually non-existent and 90% of the gig seemed to come about after a quick exchange between the lads on stage. For example, the first verse and chorus of Maiden's "The Trooper" ended because Heafy couldn't remember any more lyrics and Metallica's "Cyanide" from "Death Magnetic" opened when he said "apparently we sound like them so we may as well play one", a sentiment greeted with roars of appreciation from an increasingly lubed crowd. Heafy did play one comedy mainstream song but I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Something by The Darkness, perhaps?

Trivium managed to make two guys' nights at The Borderline. One lank haired, sweaty looking metaller was offered the opportunity to get on Travis's kit and play along with one song and to be fair, he did a good job (the over-the-top double-pedal solo when he sat down is EXACTLY what I would have done). A chubby dude with glasses then got hauled up to play rhythm guitar with Matt for an entire song and his elation was obvious. Lucky c*nts.

However, when the boys started coming in to the crowd, that's when my night was made. I held Matt Heafy's arm aloft as he was roaring into the mic, and now officially think he considers me his best mate...perhaps... KillerLeah had her arm around Corey Beaulieu as he shredded his way through the crowd and the whole place was more like a sweaty garage in Florida, where a load of mates were watching a few more of their mates play some tunes, not a few super fans watching a 3,000-room band.

At not one point over the whole evening did Trivium make me feel anything other than respect for them. They know they have their critics - a lot of critics - but they played up to this. Heafy finished one song and began chanting "Slayer! Slayer!", which is what was happening on their recent Unholy Alliance tour with the thrash gods. They had a drink with us, let us play their instruments, and made my mate KillerLeah think seriously about her choice of gigs for the coming months. They got in the crowd, they sweated with us, they let one of their guitar techs use the stage to propose to his girlfriend (very sweet moment). They were a group of four lads having a fucking top time on their last show of 2008 in the smallest venue since they played Barfly in 2005.

I never thought Trivium would top Slipknot. But they just might have done it.

I stand corrected...

Despite my less than positive reaction to "Kirisute Gomen" as a taster of Trivium's then-forthcoming album, "Shogun" ("All Hope IS Still There", Sunday, 3 August 2008), I got an email through the other day about an intimate gig the Floridian metallers were playing about 5 minutes from my office on December 9th. Seeing as "Ascendancy" is one of my top metal albums of all time, I thought I'd dip my hand in my pocket and further add to the ticket pile. I also invested in "Shogun", a touch reluctantly but I hate being at gigs and not knowing the lion's share of the material.

My laptop has been out of action for a few days so I've had "Shogun", AC/DC's new joint "Black Ice" and "Satisfaction Is The Death Of Desire" by Hatebreed, which Si-KO leant to me, all sitting on my table waiting to be uploaded onto the ol' MP3 (strictly speaking an MP4 but let's not split hairs...). I finally got "Shogun" on and hit play.

Opens with "Kirisute Gomen" but this time, it sounded a hell of a lot better. Still not perfect but a shit load more guts than when I first downloaded it a couple of months back. "This ain't too bad", thinks I. As with "Dying In Your Arms" from "Ascendancy", "Shogun" has a stand-out single and soon-to-be-confirmed crowd pleaser "Into The Mouth Of Hell We March". However, there is a pure fucking raw aggression to tunes like "He Who Spawned The Furies", proving that Corey Beaulieu has more than enough ability to take on the guttural growling since Matt Heafy has relinquished responsibility of the growly stuff. There are shades of Devildriver drums and Travis Smith has clearly been given free rein on the double pedal; something that was sorely missed with "The Crusade". "Shogun" is the album that "The Crusade" should have been - more mature than "Ascendancy" but with the passion and ferocity intact. Instead, "The Crusade" undid a shit load of the hard work that Trivium had put in, and wrote them off to many as another MOR Metallica covers band. "Shogun" corrects this - December 9th, 300 people, this lot on stage. What a fucking night it'll be.

"Black Ice"? Pure, old fashioned AC/DC. 30-odd years after the seminal "Back In Black" album, they've come back with another absolute winner. It's just a continuation of tunes about rockin', rollin, humpin' and-a drinkin' and to be honest, I can understand why their UK gigs sold out in about 0.3 seconds. It's still not polished, Brian Johnson's vocals are still like a strangled chicken and the fact that Angus Young still insists on dressing like a schoolboy well into his 50's is bordering on laughable but you know what? They can get away with it. Why? Because they don't fucking care. And that's rock and roll.