O Mentalists, where art thou?

I finished reading Dave Mustaine's autobiography A Life In Metal this week, and I still can't decide if he's an under appreciated genius or a complete tit.

In between talking about how hard he is and how much of a arsemonkey Lars Ulrich is, Mustaine is pretty honest about the superficiality of the scene back in the day; you had to dress a certain way, act a certain way...and by 'certain way' I mean Megadave's way.

I joined the Megadeth party pretty late in the day after Shithouse lent me So Far So Good So What in 2003. Since then I've respected what they've done and it's fair to say Endgame was one of the finest musical moments of 2009. I also listened to their greatest hits for about four straight hours on a 10-hour drive and didn't get bored once.

The thing that irked me about Mustaine's autobiography is that I could have been reading Slash's, or Nikki Sixx's, or one of any other rock legends. Tough youth, into drugs, major commercial success, hump a load of women, descent into life threatening addiction, band and marriage dissolve, artist continues, more drugs and bands, get sober, write a book. The rock star blueprint. It becomes a teeny bit predictable after a while.

But amidst all the massive hair and almost-deaths, these autobiographies show one thing; metallers ain't what they used to be. I don't know whether it's a result of more education (highly unlikely) or the fact that being a musician is less lucrative than it was, but the drug-fuelled alcoholic excess of the 80s and 90s seems to have disappeared from rock music. I'm not suggesting bands should go back to being wasted 24/7 and destroying their organs with prescription meds but it seems that the whole scene has mellowed out a bit. You hear the odd story about Oli Sykes and other young upstarts getting in a bit of trouble, but what happened to inserting phones/fish into groupies and driving Rolls Royce into swimming pools? Are there any genuine, bona fide rock and roll legends coming up through the ranks nowadays? I'm not sure. And based on the difference between rockers in the 1980s and metallers today, what does the future hold? Will the 2020 headlines be restricted to *STOP PRESS: Member of A Day To Remember Farts In Church*?

I'm not condoning drugs and debauchery; I've never done anything other than smoked a bit of weed as I'm a pussy and am far too scared. But it does seem to me that the golden era of obscene headlines about ridiculous excess has well and truly passed.

Farewell mofos.

M

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Baby, baby, baby, oooh fuck...

Justin Bieber is the best thing to happen to heavy metal in years. Thanks to the Lego-haired Hilary Swank-a-like, the ridiculously banal crusade by Tipper Gore and the PMRC to censor music has yet again been rendered completely pointless and hideously flawed.

Gore's beef back in the 1980s was that albums marketed towards children should have a warning on them. Call me an overweight big-nosed skinhead but I never really saw the likes of Twisted Sister as something for the kiddies, hence Dee "The Fucking Metal Hero" Snider's stance against ol' Gorey (incidentally, I'm not going into masses of detail about the Parents Music Resource Centre as it's boring and I'm no expert. Google it for more info if you want). Now, music that is categorically marketed to children is the likes of Justin Bieber (and thus the circle completes).

In a recent Rolling Stone interview, the high-bollocked paedo dream suggested that, homosexuality was a lifestyle choice, America (his main source of fans and revenue) is evil and my personal favourite, abortion is wrong, even in cases of rape, as "everything happens for a reason".

Let me pose this question to parents; would you rather have your kids listen to heavy metal music and admire the likes of Scott Ian of Anthrax, a brutal shredder in a genre-defining thrash metal band and a dedicated family man with many years of marriage under his belt. Or Cradle of Filth's Dani Filth, well-documented as being a loving husband and father. Or a plethora of other decent men? No? Perhaps you'd you prefer them to have pictures of an uneducated, teenage imbecile adorning their walls whilst they subscribed to his embarrassingly incorrect right-wing ideals? Well? Tipper? You're a Democrat, what do you think?

I'm not suggesting metal is the wholesome breeding ground of perfect role models; I certainly wouldn't send my kids on a long weekend with Varg Vikernes. But whilst the ongoing debate about what kids should or shouldn't listen to rages on, look behind the music.

How about chart-topping R'n'B star Chris Brown, who enjoys using his martial art skills to kick the shit out of his girlfriend Rhianna?

There are arseholes in every genre, this is undeniable. Bieber is still young and there will no doubt be PR teams worldwide working to correct his monumental fuck up. But unfortunately his opinions are out there now and they matter to millions of tweens worldwide. Rather than being concerned that your kid is listening to Tomb of the Mutilated, which is pure theatre, be concerned that their high-profile role models are in the press attacking women and answering questions like a Fox News stalwart.

Up the Irons.

M
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Set it off

I keep announcing my retirement from the pit at gigs but sure as there's a hole in my arse as soon as the next band comes to town, there I am at the front thrashing around like a total tit. Si-KO and I went to see Terror a couple of weekends back, supported by First Blood; I'd promised myself (and my other half) no pit action but alas, after First Blood warmed the crowd up with beauties such as Next Time I See You, You're Fucking Dead, I couldn't resist getting into the shit.

Terror frontman Scott Vogel is well known for his onstage banter and this gig was no exception. His constant encouragement kicked off a total fucking riot (including a bloke jumping off stage and hanging onto the aircon unit in the ceiling), which resulted in me taking a couple of windmills and a sizable foot to the face...try going into an office on a Monday morning, suited and booted, with eyes that look like Frank Bruno's bollocks. Not ideal but by the beard of Kerry King it was worth it. This gig was the definition of hardcore, pure and simple.

I bumped fists with the chaps from Pay No Respect at the Terror gig and the next weekend, there they were onstage supporting Lower Than Atlantis and Your Demise. There's something epic about seeing true legends of the genre and the new breed of hardcore in a single week. Pay No Respect are authentic and well deserving of the recollection they're starting to get outside the South East of England. Go to their MySpace when you've finished here or they'll stamp on your face.

LTA frontman Mike Duce, with his daft public school hair and padded Barbour jacket, looked completely out of place but when they got on stage all was forgiven. I'd heard nothing but good things about their live prowess and every bit of it is justified. They sounded like a speeded up, more pissed off version of 90s British alt-punks China Drum, and as me and Keef The Yeti stood at the bar pounding bottles of Newcastle Brown like we were about to enter a period of prohibition, LTA tore the venue a new one. Our ability to get served so quickly was primarily due to the fact that we we're clearly the oldest two people there, perhaps with exception of the chap in the Bruce Springsteen denim jacket.

Your Demise kept up the momentum but despite vocalist Ed McRae trying to fire the crowd up, the pit was never more than a bit of a swell. I was comparing it to Terror's crowd the previous week though, which is a bit harsh on a bunch of pubescent teenagers. But nevertheless, the stage got invaded, a couple of lads took their first foray into stage diving, and the theft of McRae's microphone marked the end of a fucking top quality gig.

So after seeing First Blood, Terror, Pay No Respect, Lower Than Atlantis and Your Demise in the space of a week I got hold of the new Agnostic Front album, My Life My Way, (awesomely mixed by Freddy Cricien of Madball) which hits the shelves in March. And it is Fuck. King. Awesome.

All in all, it's been a good couple of weeks for hardcore.

Bonjour,
M
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How does one define "a tool"?

Vince Neil. What a cunt.

I love a bit of Motley Crue; I'd go so far as to say they were one of the greatest rock and roll bands of all time. I've enjoyed Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries and found The Dirt to be a compelling albeit ridiculous read. The Crue boys have done some crazy shit in their lives but all the sex, drugs and questionable trouser choices resulted in more than one nasty situation. Obviously Sixx dying a couple of times is one of them. However, more specifically Vince Neil's decision to drive when hugely drunk, resulting in the untimely death of Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle.

Obviously this isn't breaking news. However, I found out a couple of days back that Neil will be pleading guilty to drink driving charges when he appears in court on January 26th, which has genuinely pissed me off.

"Hey, that's rock and roll, man!" No, it's not. Driving a Rolls Royce into a swimming pool is rock and roll. Throwing a TV out of a window is rock and roll. Getting done for drink driving is what happens to sad old men and teenage idiots. Getting done for drink driving when you've killed someone in the past? What an arsehole. So members of Motley don't have enough money for taxis? Or was he trying to impress yet another big-titted teenager with his vehicular wealth?

He's looking at a custodial sentence of 15 days. 15 days inside? Are you fucking kidding? Even I, with my smooth chest and pert ass could manage that.

Anyone who has grown up in the countryside or a small town, or anything other than a thriving megalopolis with significant transport links knows at least one kid from school who died whilst drunk driving. But to be responsible for the death of another and not learn a lesson from it? You really have to be some sort of cunt.

Have a word with yourself Vince, you ungrateful dick.

Ciao
M
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A letter

"To whom it may concern,

Can I start with a very basic, simple point; Devildriver are a heavy band. I'd go one step further and suggest they're a fucking heavy band. Call them thrash metal, groove metal, call them anal leakage metal for all I care but it simply isn't up for debate that Devildriver are a heavy, metal band.

But lo, upon the release of the devastatingly metal new single Dead to Rights this week from forthcoming album Beast, the thumb-sucking trouser soilers of the Interweb yet again began their crusade to prove everything apart from Deicide is radio-friendly pop music. And of course, Dez Fafara's tenure as frontman of nu metal clowns Coal Chamber means he can no longer be taken seriously as a vocalist. Oh, hang on, haven't Devildriver produced five crushing albums and toured relentlessly for the last nine years? Yes, they have. Comparing Coal Chamber and Devildriver is like comparing a weekend in Blackpool with a Cocker Spaniel.

Devildriver aren't everyone's cup of tea, which I fine, but by the hairs on my low-hanging left bollock they are a metal band. A fucking great metal band. The kind of metal band that gets big, sweaty, tattooed scumbags running around in circles pits the size of football pitches. The kind of metal band that plays every live show with a cock-out passion and fire often omitted by bigger 'heroes' of the genre. And to be quite honest, if you can't see or didn't already know this then you, sir or madam, are a fucking buffoon.

Kindest regards,
M
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Out with the old, in with the old

Happy New Year and all that bollocks, I hope you all had a suitably pleasant festive period filled with merriment, alcohol abuse and occasional inappropriate fumblings.

I must have been good this year, as I received a fantastic array of goodness from Santa Claus's sack...but terrible jokes about a jolly fat man in a red onesy aside, Christmas was a good haul. A highlight was receiving the Ensiferum Victory Songs/Dragonhead double album from my mum and dad who, with a combined age nudging 120, are now receiving emails from Amazon recommending Trigger The Bloodshed and Megadeth. This officially makes my parents awesome.

Bro Dude also excelled himself buy procuring me a pretty much mint vinyl copy of Def Leppard's Hysteria and Dio's The Next In Line. Also in my stocking, however, was an album that can only be described as phenomenal. Not only is the track list amazing but the title and artwork is just...well, see for yourself:

Axe Anthems, vol. 2 is the best album cover I have ever seen. I took this opinion to Twitter and was soon conversing with fellow metalhead Iain (follow him at @Dizzydalek). He couldn't believe that there was a volume 2, being himself in possession of the original:

Whilst the Axe Attack series is clearly as rock as it gets, the pinnacle of heavy metal album covers must surely be this, another of Iain's collection:

A metal robot with metal tits riding a metal horse that's shooting lasers from it's eyes? You'd better believe it. These three albums alone exemplify why just downloading music files from the Internet is boring; a JPEG thumbnail of cover art is hardly comparable to a 144-square inch picture of two men in vests fighting with guitars now, is it?? Iain is also the brains behind Cack Blabbath so head on over there too; tell him MADman sent you.

So with a week down and 51 more to go, I'm pretty excited about this year. Tonnes of good music on the way, both live and recorded, lots of new developments with Metal Harmony, no doubt shit loads of hangovers, and the continuation of my crusade to convince people in my office that metal is better than the shit they listen to. Cannot fucking wait. 2011, bring it on.

Much love,
M
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MADman's final thought

For my final blog of this decade I thought I'd look back at a couple of my musical highlights of the year and muse in a thought-provoking fashion about what the future holds. That's the theory, anyway...

There are a few musical happenings that deserve a mention, so in no particular order:

Sick Of It All come to the Home Counties

My home town is a middle class hotbed of wax jackets and children called Hermione. Imagine my surprise when Sick Of It All announced a gig at our shitty little local venue back in April. Me and Si-KO, my oft-mentioned Straight Edge homie, had a fucking riot that night as the hardcore legends absolutely devastated the 250-capacity venue. A true lesson in how to set it off.

Trash Talk bring the noise

Cancer Bats came to town with Trash Talk in tow; Trash Talk proceeded to destroy everything in their path. From circle pits on broken bottles to foot-to-face interaction, this was one of the most insane gigs I've ever been to. Lee Spielman is an astounding frontman and manages to mix amicable banter with straight-forward abuse during every song. What an experience.

This is me and Spielman in a rare moment of calm:

Please note: Spielman is tall; I'm not some kind of midget with terrible posture.

AC/DC at Download for the absolute win

I mean, come on; if you were there you'll understand. One of the gig highlights of my life, not just 2010. Despite having a combined age of about 500, AC/DC's energy was something to behold and the crowd lapped it up. If ever I feel stressed, I simply close my eyes and regress to AC/DC playing For Those About To Rock, and all in the world is good.

2011 is going to be an odd year for me and Hot Chick as we're not planning on going to any festivals...although Sonisphere has pulled an absolute blinder out of the bag by securing the Big 4 to headline their Friday night. The flip side of this is Biffy Clyro headlining Saturday, which to me is a bit on the random side. Don't get me wrong; Biffy have had a couple of good tunes but when I've seen them at festivals, they're shit. And bearing in mind the headliners either side of them at Sonisphere (Big 4 on the Friday, Slipknot on the Sunday) I can't see this being an easy gig for them.

Download has the return of System Of A Down on Friday and Linkin Park on Saturday. SOAD I'd be interested to see, Linkin Park I couldn't care less about. The word is that Bon Jovi will be closing the show on Sunday but it's all TBC.

All this being said I've got Iron Maiden to look forward to in August 2011 so happy fucking days! On the subject of the mighty Irons, I recently became friends with the legendary Krusher Joule on a famous social networking platform. Krusher is the genius artist behind albums such as Ozzy's Bark At The Moon, Sabbath's ground-breaking Born Again and Maiden's Live After Death. I'm hoping to share a beer with him in the New Year at some point but as he's a complete nutter and is barred from most of the pubs in London, it may be a challenge...

I'm planning on some exciting shit for this blog in May, which will no doubt change the world of music journalism as we know it. Perhaps. But fear not; Metal Harmony will continue to deliver a few minutes of attempted comedy and basic musical waffling every Friday (or thereabouts) over the next 12-month.

Now run along, you crazy bastards; eat, drink and be merry during this festive time. May you all get hammered and vomit into a Santa hat.

Have a good one,

M

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The Inevitable Top Ten of 2010

After much deliberation, Metal Harmony is proud to present the Top Ten of 2010. This wasn't an easy one to be honest, and I very nearly bottled it and went for a Top Twelve so apologies to Annotations Of An Autopsy and Black Country Communion - so close, yet so far. And Justin Bieber narrowly missed a position. But let's be honest; you didn't come hear to read an intro, you came to hear to see which beauties I picked.

So without further ado let's get ready to rumba...

10. Eluveitie - Everything Remains (As It Never Was)

Despite being released in the opening weeks of 2010, Everything Remains.... was rarely bettered this year. Whilst this album has received mixed reviews, in my eyes the undeniably fantastic mix of traditional Celtic folk music and brutal heavy metal is something to behold. You're not sure whether to stand on a Highland mound, hair blowing in the wind, gazing out over the horizon, or down a bottle of Newcastle Brown and smash it over your head.

9. Valkyrja - Contamination

Thoroughly unpleasent and as heavy as a Sumo wrestler's first dump of the day following an All You Can Eat Steak And Lentils party, Sweden's Valkyrja have no place for the theatrical over-production of more succesful black metal bands. Breakneck speed and acid-gargling vocals combine to create a phenomenally bleak atmosphere. Brilliant.

8. Iron Maiden - The Final Frontier

There is no doubt that The Final Frontier was the most highly anticipated metal release of 2010. From newly-annointed teens in Drop Dead t-shirts to fat denim-clad 50-somethings with mullets, we eagerly waited for the Irons' new album to drop. First single Eldorado was greeted with mixed reviews, as was follow up The Final Frontier and when it hit the shelves, there was some disappointment. Okay, it's not Number Of The Beast or Live After Death but it's undeniably Maiden. Huge riffs, galloping drums and one of the greatest metal vocalists of all time mean The Final Frontier is a worthy addition to any metal fan's collection.

7. Dyscarnate - Enduring The Massacre

Horsham in West Sussex isn't the most obvious place to find a slice of highest quality extreme/death metal. With Enduring The Massacre, Dyscarnate recorded as a four-piece but lost their second guitarist, so played the live tour as a trio. Despite's vocalist Tom Whitty's concerns, I saw them debut this crushing arrangement and my bowels subsequently collapsed. So heavy it would make Kerry King cry like a bitch.

6. Bad Religion - 30 Years Live

I know it's a bit of a cheat to have a live/'best of' but I run this shit, so deal with it. Bad Religion gave the fans a treat-and-a-half by offering this album totally free. No obligation to join fan clubs, no daily spam emails, just click on a link and it's yours. As a result, the website's traffic rocketed resulting in mass failure to download, but this was eventually rectified once the inital burst of "me firsts" had chilled out. Recorded during the 30th anniversary tour, it's easy to hear why Bad Religion have been around as a band for longer than I've been alive. Quite frankly one of the greatest punk outfits of all time.

5. System Divide - The Conscious Sedation

Clean female vocals, massive breakdowns, death grunts - The Conscious Sedation could have been a contrived piece of detritus. Instead, it's one of my favourite albums this year. Both unremittingly heavy and beautifully harmonic, System Divide fuse all manner of metal genres through out The Conscious Sedation and although I'm sure a large percentage of metal fans will think it's toilet, I can't get enough.

4. Wormrot - Abuse

Hailing from the metal mecca that is Singapore, this trio's Earache debut is an example of straight up, in your fucking face grindcore. Without doubt one of the heaviest albums of the year, this opus full of 20-second blastbeat-riddled screams and cruching, distorted guitar has catapulted Wormrot into the grindcore public eye. You simply will not find a bad review of either Abuse, or any of their extensive European/North American live shows. Awesome.

3. Alter Bridge - AB III

After a decent debut and frankly remarkable second album, Alter Bridge were under pressure to deliver with their tricky third, and by David Lee Roth's trousers did they do a good job. Frontman Myles Kennedy is one of the greatest vocalists of our time and despite the fact that the rest of the band are from post-grunge God botherers Creed, with Kennedy in the chair they are a truly exquisite proposition. From immensley heavy riffs to lighter-waving melodies, AB III is an absolute blinder.

2. Leatherface - The Stormy Petrel

Six years after the release of the less-than-spectacular Dog Disco, Leatherface returned to form this year. The multi-layered guitars we grew to know and love back in the day are here again thanks to the return of man mountain Dickie Hammond. Frankie Stubbs' rough-as-fuck vocals once again deliver the irreverent and poetic metaphors that only Sunderland's finest can execute, and despite not having the raw, under-produced feel of their earlier work The Stormy Petrel is another momentous Leatherface album.

1. Dommin - Love is Gone

Dommin arrived on the scene this year with the greatest debut I have heard for many moons. Combining the melancholy of Type O Negative with the catchy hooks of HIM, Love Is Gone is start-to-finish brilliance. Listening to it makes you feel depressed, elated, amorous, neglected, and every other emotion under the sun. I was blown away on first listen, even more so after witnessing two exceptional sets at Download 2010. Dommin have raised the bar to stratospheric levels so there's a huge amount of pressure on the as-yet-to-be-discussed follow up. I for one can't wait.

So there we have it. Job done. A pretty fucking robust list, in my opinion. No doubt there'll be some disagreements and grievances; feel free to air these in any way you see fit, as long as it doesn't involve coming to my house and throwing shit at the windows. That can get really tiresome.

I've got one final post left in me for 2010 - a round-up of the year, if you will, which will look at some of the best gigs, worst albums, and general musings on the imminent passing of the twelve-month. This may not be next week due to a fully booked agenda of drinking and vomiting for the next few days...but it will be soon...

Ciao for now motherfuckers and motherfuckettes

M

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I've got a gooolden ticket

Well, not technically golden. Perhaps that should be "I've got a load of fucking ace tickets".

First and foremost, my main man Shithouse managed to procure us tickets to the forthcoming Iron Maiden tour which is just about the best news I've had in months. As regular readers of Metal Harmony will know, when me, the 'House and a couple of other gents attended Iron Maiden's Twickenham show in 2008, it was without exception the greatest musical outing of my life ("Maiden Heaven", July '08). It may be over eight months away but I'm already pooing myself with excitement.

January 2011 is dedicated to hardcore. Me and Si-KO are off to see Terror on January 22nd, and the following week Your Demise and Lower Than Atlantis are smashing the shit out of my home town, with tickets costing less than two pints of Guinness. Chances of MADman developing pit-related spinal injuries = 90%+.

So with these absolute blinders on the way, I was wondering what else 2011 could offer up to moisten my undergarments? An lo, a Children of Bodom and Amon Amarth double-header in April came along, with support from Ensiferum. Being as COB are releasing their new album Relentless Reckless Forever in March I cannot fucking wait for this show.

Cradle of Filth are also heading into the studio next week to record Midnight in the Labyrinth, an album of orchestral/acoustic/strings versions of their music. I like the sound of this but being as Dani Filth now insists on being referred to as Lord Filth, there's a chance it might be little more than pretentious wankfumblings.

So with all this awesomeness on the horizon, I leave you with news that next week will see the much anticipated unveiling of my Top Ten 2010. Well, that's the theory. I have a tendency to be drunk a lot at this time of year so you might just get a paragraph of pointless waffle instead.

Bye bye
M
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Being a mentalist

One of my favourite television programmes is Criminal Minds. For those of you not familiar with the wondrous American product, it's about a group of criminal profilers in the FBI who study human behaviour to solve crimes whilst all being painfully good looking and with an inexplicable ability to endanger themselves at the end of every series. The one beef I have with the phenomenal televisual treat is that they really fucking hate metal.

From Twisted Sister to Marilyn Manson, society (specifically those in the USA who watch Fox News) has blamed metal music for ritualistic killings, high school massacres, suicides; I'm surprised Limp Bizkit's Break Stuff hasn't been blamed for inciting the attack on the Twin Towers. We as the metal community have come to expect it. But watching season three of Criminal Minds was just extraordinary.

Case in point 1: A child in one episode has a penchant for violent video games (which are of course the other cause of all rapes and acts of grand larceny) and at aged 13, is suspected of getting an inappropriate hold of his 8-year-old female cousin. When surly profiler asks soon-to-be-found-out-paedo dad what his son does, he replies "I don't know; he just sits in his room listening to that 'metal' music all day", before throwing his hands up in despair. At 13, I was listening to a lot of punk and heavy rock, the likes of Therapy? and Faith No More and to my knowledge, never got my fiddle on with any younglings.

Case in point 2: Some nutter on a gun-toting rampage has his room searched by our voluptuous protagonists and hang on, what's that? A Metallica poster on the wall? And he's got long hair? Of COURSE he has! Because after all, if you haven't listened to Kill 'Em All and proceeded to stab your granny you simply ain't metulz. And the miscellaneous hardcore/power violence playing in the background when they capture him? Inspired.

There is aggression within metal, that's indisputable. The intensely heavy, crushing power of a Dimebag riff will set most metallers on a rampage BUT 99% of us keep it in the pit. We'll all had a massive tear up with a bloke three times our size in a circle pit, only to cast arms around each other and engage in a massively heteromosexual embrace as soon as the song ends. Personally, I'd be more likely to brutally murder a tramp with a staplegun if I was forced to listen to the Westlife back catalogue than if I had Slayer on the ol' earphones.

It's fair to say I wouldn't play any Cannibal Corpse if my three-year old niece was round but It's not because I think it would make her smash my face in with her In The Night Garden rucksack. I also wouldn't play 2Pac's Hit 'Em Up or Scooter's Move Your Ass. It's simply because I don't think she'd like it. I wouldn't let her look at the Tomb Of The Mutilated album cover but I also wouldn't let her watch Zoo Vets (operations and things, you see). I also wouldn't watch Hostel with my parents, This Is Spinal Tapp with my trendy Ralph Lauren-wearing mates or lesbian porn with the wife.

I would love, just once, to see a serial killer in a film dressed like Russell Brand with a bedroom covered in Lady Gaga posters. I've been listening to heavy music in some form or other for a couple of decades now, as have numerous friends of mine. None of us are fucked up, as much as we'd like to think we are to be cool, none of us have killed a prostitute and none of us masturbate into a bucket of our own shit before setting fire to pigeons. Quite simply, listening to metal isn't just for crazies.

So Criminal Minds, ease off us lot and go for the indie kids in season 6, yes?

I'm off to cry in the darkness.

M

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Getting Creative. Or not.

I don't have an iPod. Not for any particular anti-Apple agenda; in fact, it's fair to say it's one of the most important technology organisations of our generation. I just happen to have a Creative Zen instead which to me, is a perfectly adequate bit of kit. Until this week, when the fucking bastarding shitter decided to format itself and delete 28Gb of musical wonderment. 6,000-odd tunes down the pan. And being a special type of spastic, nothing had been backed up. Yes, yes, I know. Just leave it.

There is one small reason as to why I haven't gone on some kind of murderous rampage yet, and that's mainly due to the fact that I'm an old fashioned motherfucker so still have all my CDs, and thanks to the awesome nature of Metal Blade and Earache's distribution channels, still have access to a boat load of their material. I've lost some absolute beauties but it could be a lot worse. Now if someone would care to donate anything to the Get MADman A 160Gb iPod Fund I would greatly appreciate it.

Anyway, shit happens. What happens that isn't shit is Devildriver working on their new album Beast, which is coming our way in February (or thereabouts). I get as excited about new Devildriver album releases as I do about birthdays (not quite old enough to dread birthdays yet) and I'm hoping they continue to build on the monumentally huge Pray For Villains and The Last Kind Words. I'm going to miss their tour with 36 Crazyfists this year but the prospect of a new album tour in 2011 gives me a heroic pants missile.

The countdown to the Top Ten of 2011 is well underway so watch out for that in December - I'm not sure of the exact date as I tend to spend around 85% of the month drunk so bear with me...

Love you long time
M
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Serious as cancer

Sometimes you have to accept you're living a lie. A few months back I declared my resignation from the pit primarily due to laughably long recovery times. However, last night I fell off the wagon in a big way as my town was absolutely destroyed by Vera Cruz, Trash Talk and Cancer Bats.

French mob Vera Cruz are a fairly nonthreatening cartel to look at, particularly diminutive frontman Flavien. They took the stage to a relatively full room and started a really quite splendid display of hardcore. The crowd was dead and fuelled by Newcastle Brown, I made the executive decision that a pit needed starting. I consider myself an ambassador for the local music scene and thought it imperative that our European friends got a decent response. So a couple of other lads got stuck in and before long we were getting a decent swell, and I felt a bit smug to be honest.

Vera Cruz left the stage, I pounded a beer and chatted to my fellow pit monkeys about the need for organised chaos at hardcore shows, then Trash Talk came on to Lagwagon's Stokin The Neighbours, which gratified me a great deal. Unlike Vera Cruz, these lads seemed a bit more likely to look you in the eye whilst pissing on your shoes. Bassist Spencer Pollard started vocal proceedings before front man Lee Spielman opened his mouth and, to coin an oft-used phrase, unleashed hell. They are pure, nasty hardcore, and the place went mental. Beers, spit, teeth, probably some piss, a couple of shoes, bodies, hair and expletives were being thrown all over the place. A personal highlight for me was my shout of "CIRCLE PIT!" that was greeted by "listen to the guy in the Morbid Angel top!" from the lead singer.

Spielman was a proper mental. He was in the pit, up on shoulders, kicked a heckler in the face and told a chap who insisted on being ultra cool and sitting on the stage drinking a beer that he was going to kill him (shortly after stealing his beer and downing it).

Despite an older gent warning us about the broken glass on the floor, which I think was my bottle of Brown, the pit was insane. By the end of Trash Talk's set I was cripplingly exhausted and went outside for a breather. Then a fellow patron who was talking to a bouncer points at me and says "he's fucking mental"; after an accolade like that I had no chance of staying still during Cancer Bats, did I?

One more quick pint and back in. My first time seeing the Canadians live and the rumours are true; they're sick. Liam Cormier said he recognised people from other gigs they've played in our town over the years which might have been fluff but fuck me, it worked. The entire floor was moving, people were flying all over the place, and by the time Cancer Bats played their excellent cover of the Beastie Boys classic Sabotage the air in the room had been replaced by a misty hue of sweat and Red Stripe.

It's the morning after and I really, really hurt. Banging my head on the stage during a particularly raucous moment wasn't ideal, I could have done without getting windmilled in the jaw and the Vans-shaped bruise on my back is a little on the sore side but what a fucking gig. Absolutely immense. Ten out of ten. Simple as that. However, I am definitely retired from the pit now.

Honest...

M
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12 inches of pure pleasure

I'm (un)lucky enough to work near HMV on Oxford Street in London, so at least one lunch hour a week will be spent wandering aimlessly around the various floors of Europe's biggest branch. However, in recent months my attendance has thinned out due to my new found love of vinyl.

Purists amongst you will scoff at the fact that I have only recently got into this particular musical medium but to be fair, I grew up in the era of tapes and CDs, with vinyl well on the way out by the time I was old enough to buy stuff myself. Mind you, I probably should never have been allowed to buy things myself as my first purchase was East 17's Walthamstow album.

So for a recent significant birthday, Hot Chick got a record player. Since then, I have hemorrhaged a chunk of loose change in charity shops because ladies and gentlemen, vinyl is fucking amazing. On no other format can you walk into a shop and procure the Best of Louis Armstrong, Queen's News of the World and Dire Straits' Brothers in Arms album for less than £2. I get a wave of excitement every time I walk past a stinking old box of 12-inches, which despite sounding heroically homosexual taken out of context, is a thoroughly enjoyable feeling. Once you've waded through the plethora of Johnny Mathis, Cilla Black and various album releases from close-harmony singing Welsh males the variety on offer is devastatingly immense. Dire Straits' Alchemy live album is one of the best things I've listened to this year, Thin Lizzy's Johnny the Fox is pure brilliance (and a personal fave of Hot Chick) and Difficult to Cure from Rainbow includes Spotlight Kid, which is a moment of heavy-meets-prog wonder. And picking up Led Zeppelin and Blue Öyster Cult's debut albums for next to nothing? Don't mind if I do.

Of course the other good thing about buying vinyl is that music you wouldn't purchase becomes infinitely more appealing - virtually everything is worth a 50p investment, with the exception of anything by Ocean Colour Scene, 3OH!3 or Simply Red. I picked up Jim Reeves Good 'N' Country, Holst's The Planet Suit and something called It's Party Time, which features party classics such as Maybe It's Because I'm a Londoner and has an amazing photo of old women dancing on the front.

That's the other point; the artwork is fucking brilliant. ELO's Out of the Blue gatefold can only be the result of extensive narcotic use and as for 1984 by the mighty Van Halen? Seminal.

Plus, a big chunk of the money you give to charity shops goes, unsurprisingly, to charity, which makes you feel a whole lot better about buying yet more music to clutter up your house. Luckily, the wife is as much of a music junky as I, otherwise I'd end up on the street with nothing but The Best of Blondie as a pillow.

Bye for now gangsters
M
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Coping with addiction

Over the last couple of months I've realised I have an addiction. It began years ago but has been bubbling up for the last few weeks. I know I'm not alone but I don't know who to turn to about my problem.

I'm in love with a dark mistress. My drums.

My kit is old, not particularly pricey, and needs constant tuning. But since I pulled it out of the loft in my parents house and set it up in my basement it's all I can think about. I went to my local music shop to buy a new tuning key and came out with a new set of heads and two new sets of sticks. And the pushers in the shop don't help - "buy nine items, get the tenth free". Okay! I will! Bleeding me dry with their hickory goodness and Mylar-coated wonders.

I log onto eBay and a world of opportunity opens up before me. New cymbal stands, double kick pedals, and most importantly a cow bell stand, all just a couple of clicks away. Needless to say I think I have to check myself into rhythm section rehab before I bankrupt myself on drum equipment that I probably can't even play, let alone actually need.

But who to turn to? My family is no good, as my brother's got a similar problem but with bass guitars. The only option is for me to embrace it. Spend every penny I earn on Zildjian and Sabian. Indulge myself in Remo and Pearl. Wash myself in a sea of Axis and Vic Firth. I simply see no other way.

The struggle continues...

M

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Not being illegal

Apologies for the absence last week. There is no justifiable reason as to why your inbox was not furnished with the latest instalment of inane, occasionally music-related chat; I was simply so hungover that I couldn't focus on my computer screen. But, after last weeks 72 hour drunk/hungover clusterfuck, I'm back. "Oh joy!" I hear none of you cry.

Free music is an absolute winner though, isn't it? I mean legitimate free music, not illegal downloads. I've never robbed anything off the webernet, personally. This is more down to the fact that I don't really know how to work things over the moral implications of undertaking such activity. Plus, a techy geek of mine who had shit loads of security got done for £1,000 for downloading a few albums and as I don't have that kind of money laying around, coupled with the fact that I don't wish to go to jail and lose my colonic virginity, I think I'll continue to give it a miss.

It's also not really necessary; there's so much free shit punted into the musicsphere on a daily basis anyway. Firstly, Atreyu's cover of Aerosmith's Living On The Edge is a bit of fun, although massive Aerosmith fans will shit twice and die at the Orange County metalcore titans take on this classic. Go here to listen (you'll have to 'like' Atreyu on Facebook first)

Cradle of Filth are giving us a taste of their new album Darkly Darkly Venus Aversa by streaming The Persecution and Lilith Immaculate here. It's classic Cradle but as was always going to happen, Dani Filth's vocal is struggling more and more with the range we've come to expect from the crazy little bastard. On this topic and in one of my favourite stories of recent months, young Mr. Filth has been nominated as a Suffolk icon alongside Adnams Ale and Suffolk punch. For those outside of the UK, Suffolk is essentially a boring county where fuck all happens. Here's the full story.

As black metal goes though, it's all about Netherbird for me this week. Their album Monument Black Colossal may have a pretty ridiculous title but it's pure class. There's a similarity to Dimmu Borgir but without the theatrics and it's well worth a listen - MySpace page in me list.

Oh, and before I forget, there's a new Me First & The Gimme Gimmes album on the horizon. Can't wait to see what this punk super group has for us this time, although if the rumour of and INXS cover is true it's going to be a friggin' winner.

Seeing as I'm doing a charity run this weekend and wearing a suit I'd better go and do something resembling training. It might only be 5km but fuck me I'm unfit.

Holla
M
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Skinheads and kvltsters

Speaking to a colleague about political stance in the pub the other night (definitely a few Guinness into the evening), she was generally shocked to hear I was of left wing opinion. I wondered why and after a bit of 'erm, well...' it came down to the simple fact that j'ai un skinhead.

I want to put this out there early doors; I have a skinhead but am not technically a 'skinhead'. The whole idea of what it is to be a skinhead is a bit confused nowadays; the style emerged fifty-odd years ago as a purely fashion thing, and since then has been adopted by everyone from far left to far right. It ain't just neo Nazis who buzz cut the ol' dome, that's just the unfortunate and most common label attached to us baldy-by-choicers.

In fact, most educated people know that the ska and reggae movement which originated in Jamaica was a founding element of skinheads. Punk and Oi all developed from traditionally black music. But if you're a skinhead listening to punk music, you must be a Nazi. Hmmm.

Anyway, I could continue but won't as this is not amusing and probably not enriching your Friday Metal Harmony experience...so, metal. Have I mentioned System Divide yet? Without doubt the best metal I've heard in [exaggerated time frame]. Their debut full length album The Conscious Sedation is a work of wonderfulness which caused me much excitement. Loads of people will probably hate it but then they're retarded.

Whilst I remember, Dimmu Borgir are streaming their new album here for 48 hours only so get stuck in when you've finished reading here (link in the list, as per). I'm unlikely to get a chance to sit and dissect it so let me know what it's like. Dimmu do tend to polarise opinions but as far as I'm concerned it's pretty obviously black metal, no? They're another victim of the kvlt masses who refuse to like a band with more then seven fans. There's definitely value in that attitude; I can't think of anything worse than going to a gig where there's an actual crowd. That would be fucking shit.

Got to go, I need a poo. Bye.

M

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Top Ten of epicness

You can't beat a good cover version. A band takes a classic song, redoes it, and occasionally makes it something spectacular - Pantera's cover of Black Sabbath's Planet Caravan is one of the greatest things I've ever heard, and Type O Negative's version of Summer Breeze by Seals and Crofts (or The Isley Brothers) is one of the most exquisitely depressing covers known to man. But today I'm celebrating those covers song that are completely inappropriate, mindless and fucking funny.

Props to brit metallers and thoroughly decent chaps Sa-Da-Ko for inspiring this list with this their most recent and retarded outing; a cover of DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Boom Shake The Room. Brilliant.

10. Snuff - Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads

Punk legends Snuff Oi-up the 1970s comedy show theme tune. Try and listen to the last few half-beat bars without donning bovver boots, downing a bottle of Newcastle Brown and smashing it on your head

9. Lagwagon - Bad Moon Rising

Basically exactly the same as the Creedance Clearwater Revival original, with the exception of a cripplingly fast chorus that back in the day made this budding teenage drummer's balls tighten.

8. The Bezerker - All The Things She Said

Technically, T.A.T.U's original was all about a video of them dressed as schoolgirls and lezzing up in the rain. Pretty much a winning idea. Until The Bezerker added impossibly fast double kick and substituted vulnerable, questionably-legal teenagers with a PVC'd dominatrix couple.

7. Lawnmower Deth - Kids In America

If Kim Wilde's original wasn't awesome enough, the British legends give it a comedy metal makeover. Indescribably awesome.

6. Ten Masked Men - Cry Me A River

Internet legends Ten Masked Men have metalled up everything from Christina Aguilera to Eiffel 65 but their cover of Justin Timberlake's whinging opus about losing tragic psychopath Britney Spears is a stroke of genius.

5. Austrian Death Machine - T2 Theme

As I Lay Dying's Tim Lambesis drops a bit of a bollock here as technically, this theme is from the end of the first Terminator but nevertheless, adding chugging riffs and soaring fretwork to one of the most seminal pieces of music from 20th century cinema (well, I think so anyway) is a stroke of genius

4. Me First & The Gimme Gimmes - Mandy

With a massive back catalogue to choose from, the punk supergroup could have a top ten of their own but in my mind, punking up Manilow is always a winner.

3. NOFX - Vincent

Don Maclean's tribute to earless Absinthe mentaller Vincent Van Gogh gets the SoCal treatment. Fat Mike's nasal squawk and Erik Sandin's trademark drumming takes a somber, down beat song and makes it a pit-swelling anthem

2. Turisas - Rasputin

Take Boney-M, add folk metal, et voila. I almost pissed myself when I first saw this live as it's such a perfectly retarded song to cover. However, Turisas do it so well you'd think they themselves had penned this tribute to Russia's greatest love machine.

1. Hi-Standard - California Dreamin'

Without doubt, my favourite stupid cover of all time. Nothing pays tribute to the mid-1960s anthem more than this double-quick version by a group of Japanese punks. It's a moment of pure genius and a hands down winner.

Ah, that was fun. Time to go and pull a moonie at the pope.

Ciao

M

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Yo' mamma. Well, my mum, actually.

Alice Cooper: what a legend. He brought us Poison which is without doubt one of the finest mainstream metal songs of all time, his antics with a chicken have put him in the metal history books but most of all, his breakfast show on Planet Rock gets me up and running every single day. You just can't beat a bit of Free's Wishing Well at 6:15am.

Today was special though. Ol' Vincent kicked off with Neil Young, closely followed by Tom Petty, both of whom are up there with my mum's favourite artists. I'm hoping this is a sign, as MADmum is currently in hospital after falling down her stairs and busting her leg. She's got an operation today to get everything pinned backed together.

MADmum gave me, Bro Dude and my sister an epic start to life with her staple diet of Crosby, Stills and Nash, Steely Dan, Neil Young, Tom Petty, The Byrds, Motown and old Ratpack music. Coupled with my dad's love of Dire Straits, The Rolling Stones and the fact he owned a first edition Paranoid vinyl, I've got a lot to be thank them for. So horns up high for me mum; get better soon, you clumsy moo.

On the subject of quite serious shit, I'm doing a fun run (massive oxymoron) for a UK stillborn and neonatal death charity - feel free to find out more and give me money here.

But back to the metal! I have an absolute plethora of new shit to plough through, including the new Stone Sour album Audio Secrecy. I'm hearing good things so far and seeing as Come What(ever) May gave me a priapism, I can't wait to get stuck into it. Then there's The Conscious Sedation by System Divide and Dawn of Ashes' Genocide Chapter which both look promising. I'm also enjoying Aeon's Path of Fire at present; a bit Trigger The Bloodshed-y, very much my sweet spot.

Right, time to fuck off. May your weekends be filled with much merriment, alcoholic pleasures and rough sexual intercourse.

M
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Emuters

Until today I've never noticed the similarities between commuters and emo kids - generic dark clothes, miserable faces, a general aura of grumpiness. Less fringe action mind. I don't object to being a cog in the ever-churning corporate machine but days like today, standing in a cramped train, cock-to-leg with numerous other besuited fellows, in a soaking wet coat and with the need for a cigarette meaning I'm about 17 minutes from mass homicide, I do sometimes wonder if it would be so bad if I chucked it all in went to live in a wood cabin in Alaska...

I'm being a bit emo myself now but fuck you, man. You like, don't understand my pain. Only Gerrard Way does... *hums The Black Parade*

Still, on the plus side The Big 4's performance from Sonisphere Bulgaria is coming out on DVD and BluRay in September. If The Red Wizard's review is anything to go by I shall most definitely be procurring this, buying a crate of beer and tuning my air guitar. Plus Slipknot's new DVD (sic)ness is released on September 28th and includes their crushing performance at Download 2009. I still get heartilly engorged thinking about Spit It Out during that performance.

Sad news about Adam 'Nergal' Darski this week though. You've probably heard by now that the Behemoth frontman has been diagnosed with leukemia and is in urgent need of a bone marrow transplant. On a rare Metal Harmony serious note, donating bone marrow is something we should all get involved with. The relative discomfort that the doner feels is negligible when you look at the good it can do. I'm going to get myself registered, go here if you want to do the same (UK only I'm afraid but information is easy to find).

Right, I'm off to get my hair cut like Justin Bieber.

Westside,
M
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Not a review of The Final Frontier

What a week, eh? How many reviews of The Final Frontier have you read? I think I'm on about ninety so far. I'll be honest homies; in my tiny mind, Iron Maiden are pretty much as good as old school heavy metal gets. However, after a couple of listens I'm still not getting a bonerus ginormus from this album. There's no doubting that songs like The Alchemist and Mother of Mercy are great songs but there's a lot of relatively uninspiring, long sections where not much happens. I do like it, I really do. I think my expectations were perhaps a little impossible to match though.

This being said, Maiden could come round my house, drink my last beer, piss on the sofa and take a shit without flushing and I'd still get the Live After Death album cover tattooed on my face.

Anyway, looks like I'm going to be missing out on an interview with/review of And Hell Follows With next week due to work commitments - yes, believe it or not writing album reviews and a weekly blog doesn't pay the bills - which is a shame. These lads have had a bit of a shoeing from the metal elite, as have every other deathcore band in existence but for me, Proprioception is a great big chunk of nasty metal noise that deserves a listen. Still, I'll get my deathcore fix from the Job For A Cowboy, Trigger The Bloodshed, Whitechapel and Annotations Of An Autopsy gig later this year. That, my friends, will be an awesome use of an evening.

And now for something completely different. My mate The Crook, when he's not either undergoing surgery or *allegedly* downloading copious amounts of music and films, is a master of sending me amazing videos he's found on the Webnet International. However, yesterday he surpassed all previous efforts with this. I'll leave you with what has to be the funniest thing I've seen in months..

Det Satan Club

Have a good weekend pickles

M
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In the belly of a Kentish town

Gallows? In my home town? Go on then. It's difficult to think of a band in recent years that made more of an impact than the Watford bruisers. When their debut Orchestra of Wolves was released, the music press hailed them as the new saviours of true British punk rock, and the train kept rolling with their follow up Grey Britain. Simple, stripped down, spitting punk from ugly tattooed blokes - it's a beautiful thing.

My local venue has been going on about their big announcement for some time now and I was half expecting it to be some shit, reformed Britpop band so getting the email about Gallows was most exciting. With them, Cancer Bats, Lower Than Atlantis and The Casino Brawl all coming to my manner before the end of this year, South East England is on it's way to a right good kicking. Me likey long time.

Can you all just take a moment to raise your horns for Behemoth frontman Adam 'Nergal' Darski, who is currently receiving medical treatment for serious illness. Get well soon, you bible ripping heathen - more information here.

And excitingly, Alter Bridge are back at the end of September with their third album, AB III and if it's anywhere near as good as Blackbird I will make a pants milkshake.

Since I've mentioned pants, I can't help thinking of 30 Seconds To Mars. The sub-standard emo arsedribble they've produced in the past is nothing compared to the thunderously fucking awful new song. I know I'm not exactly target market as despite what my laughable beardline suggets, I'm not a teenage girl, but I like to think I know music and Jared Leto's boys are fucking shite. That is all.

On the subject of my laughable beardline, I got ID'd in a supermarket yesterday buying £150-worth of beer and wine with my work colleagues. That wasn't embarrassing at all. I'm never again wearing an Atreyu t-shirt when I need to buy booze.

Have a good weekend chickens

M
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To Oz or not to Oz

I got a message from Shithouse the other day asking me if I wanted to go and see Guns N' Roses in October. If it were the original lineup I wouldn't be able to buy the tickets fast enough but as they are I find it difficult to get excited. Slash playing Paradise City and Sweet Child O' Mine with Myles Kennedy at Download 2010 was a beautiful thing, as not only does Kennedy hit every single note but witnessing one of the greatest guitarists in history playing some of the most anthemic riffs ever created was truly immense.

This being said, Kennedy's not the same kind of old school gritty frontman as Axl Rose who despite being pretty much a full on fucking lunatic, has to be one of the most distinctive lead singers in the history of rock and metal.

Thinking about it, maybe I do want to go...

This kind of flakey non-commitment is happening to me a lot at the moment. I've been toying with the idea of Ozzfest when it returns to London for one night only as Ozzy is one of the few remaining stalwarts of metal who I've not seen live. However, I have a fear that I'm going to be a tad disappointed. Maybe I'm being a bit negative but does Ozzy still have it? I'm actually asking that question because for me, I just don't know. The lineup is decent - Korn, Murderdolls, and the always excellent live Skindred - and it's only £40 so I can probably justify it to myself to head along. Perhaps.

I'm off up to Nottingham today for a stag do with the oft' mentioned Big Mearz and I'm wondering how we're going to cope with wearing relatively smart clothes so we can get into places. It's fair to say we're both scumbags and although I've not seen him for a few years I doubt he's ditched his Bad Religion t-shirt and general hairiness in exchange for some brown slacks and a red turtleneck.

Whilst I'm on the subject of clothes (which will happen very rarely on this blog) what the fucking fuck is going on with 'fashion'? Trying to find a shirt that didn't make me look like either an ugly woman or a homosexual lumberjack was nigh on impossible. And let me make this point loud and clear: CARDIGANS ARE WHAT GIRLS WEAR. And skinny jeans? If I wore skinny jeans I'd look like a Mr Whippy. What about normal jeans for the gentleman who enjoys perhaps a few too many beers, huh? Fucking fascists.

Anyway, enough of this. I've a bag to pack and a head to shave so must be off. Oh, and if you haven't played the new Iron Maiden game yet, get stuck in here.

Love you
M
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I've arrived!

I got told I sucked yesterday. Some young chap took exception to my slightly derogatory review of the new Fleshwrought album, Dementia/Dyslexia and wrote on MetalasFuck's Facebook page that I suck.

I have to be honest, the pang of pride I felt was extraordinary. I've written something that has genuinely pissed someone off. I'd have preferred a bit more embellishment as to exactly why I suck but it's always nice when people have emotive responses to stuff I write... I can only hope that one day I too reach the level of Ian Winwood

I have enormous amounts of beef at the moment though. Lagwagon and No Use For A Name are touring Europe and not coming to the sodding UK, which is frankly devastating. I haven't seen these boys live for over a decade and when I heard a tour was planned, I immediately messaged Big Mearz and dusted of my wallet chain in preparation. How can you tour Europe and not play the UK?? Bastards!

As you can see this has cut me deep...Still, with a Whitechapel with Annotations Of An Autopsy and Trigger The Bloodshed tour, plus Devildriver and 36 Crazyfists all planned for the arse end of this year there's plenty to look forward too. It's been a fair while (in MADman terms) until I've been to see anyone live due to everything that's been going on at home so I'm getting jittery. Unless I'm in the pit getting sweated on by a selection of robust gentlemen in the next few weeks I might turn peculiar.

On the subject of gigs, Sonisphere takes place this weekend so for all you lucky, lucky fuckers who are trucking to Knebworth, have a truly amazing time. It's going to be difficult not to with Alice Cooper, Rammstein, Slayer, Anthrax, and some mob called Iron Maiden? It's a spectacular lineup and if money were no object I'd be all over it like a fat kid on a Mars bar.

I'm off to buy tickets for Cancer Bats so with the sun shining and last night's Chinese pushing uncomfortably on my lower intestine, see youz lot later.

Peace,
M
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